I'm not going to review the Ultimate Text Game Seminar just yet, I'll do it in my next post. Right now I just want to write about some things that are on the top of my mind post the meeting. I feel really good at the moment - like renewed with a new sense of purpose. Honestly, I love going to meetings and meeting some of the top people in the pickup world. You always learn so much.
The first thing I want to write about is Investment. My question after dating HBK and getting so far with her in escalation was pretty much... "how can she still not 'love' me, even after I've made out with her like several times and almost got sex?" How is that possible? I ended up dumping her as you guys know because I wasn't getting investment from her.. she just shit tested me more and kept trying to put me in friend zone.
But now I think I've figured it out -- this like came to me right after I frame-battled a couple top PUAs and showed confidence in myself. Instead of getting offended, they actually gave me props.. and on top of that.. investment. A main CC leader gave me his number and invited me to his house for a party, another lead who never talked to me suddenly wanted to be my friend again and wing at some point, and an instructor from a PUA school (a super hard-ass PUA who frame-battled me at another seminar) spilled his guts on his escalation game -- even tho he was a bit resistant at first. I was like... WTF? How did I do that?
Do you remember that movie Star Trek? Last Samurai? Fast & The Furious? Or Avatar? If you look at the storyline for these movies, it's really simple. The main character is always a foreigner/outsider, who falls in love with the 'village' princess but clashes with the alpha male 'brother' or 'lover/suitor' of the princess. The foreigner fights with the alpha male a bit, with the alpha guy thinking... this guy isn't one of us, he can't fit in. Yet, the foreigner does something amazing like save the village from some catastrophe or help the alpha male out.. and then the alpha male succumbs and lets the foreigner in as one of the 'clansmen'. He also moves aside (or dies), and the foreigner gets the girl too. I know I prob made a mess of writing this paragraph.. but I'll revise it later to be more clear.
The point I want to make is... this scenario is the same with pickup and making new friends. If you want people to invest in you, you have to set the frame that you are just as dominant as them, if not more. What this does is make them sit up and notice you. You're not just some face-less guy in the audience anymore. You're questioning them.. making them feel a bit uncomfortable.
But it's okay! Have the courage in yourself to hold that frame and stay with it. The stronger people may shit test you or give you resistance -- frame battling you to see if you're really as 'alpha' as you make yourself to be. If you just hold it, eventually they will qualify themselves.
That is what you want. That's investment. When they start giving you help, or information, you want to slightly reward them with your IOIs. That encourages them to keep talking.. they like the good feelings they are sharing with you and want it to continue. If they give resistance and you don't stand for it, it's also powerful, because they feel like they haven't won you yet.
You don't want to give them all your IOIs.. otherwise you blow yourself out; they think, oh this guy was just trying to act all bad-ass.. but really he's just a pussy-cat -- I totally figured him out now. The situation is made worse when you yourself stop acting dominant and instead acting friendly around this person so much you come off needy. Then they really think, hmm this guy is just a social leech or a creepy needy guy who wants to get into my pants (if they're a girl).
Going back to my story with HBK -- Sure I was making out with her, and she was really into it at those times.. but all I was was a dancing monkey. I was 'entertaining her' with my makeouts. She didn't really earn it though. That's why she didn't love me even after all the escalation going on. She was enjoying the moment, but I equate that to the same as one of those dudes who perform magic tricks in a bar -- it's entertaining to the girl, but after the show's over..she gets up and leaves. The guy feels like a tool and wonders what happened.. why he didn't get the girl.
If I had challenged HBK hard instead; calling her out on her cooking skills, or calling her out on her whatever skills.. putting her into a qualifying mode where she had to prove to me she could cook... or whatever; and THEN I escalated (like k-close), I think that would have sent the right message. She would have 'invested' more, and been rewarded for it. Like if she made me a great meal, and I gave her hot amazing sex for it, I think she would really be appreciative. She would want to make another great meal for the reward I give her.
It's the same with friends...you want to call em out a little... (of course you wanna be callibrated with it) but by challenging them a little.. like maybe telling them they suck at a video game and need to get better.. they'll suddenly work hard to play that game and get good. Then when they get good, you acknowledge them a little, but you work hard yourself to get better. So they see you working hard, and they think.. hmm this guy isn't full of shit, he's also improving himself.. and they feel obligated to help you out more; because they can challenge you and you can challenge them -- that's the best friendship, because both parties are fully invested in each other.
The other thing I wanted to talk about was something Bravo told me during the CC seminar -- don't be afraid to be aggressive and dominating in your kino. Girls will tell you when they want you to stop, but don't fear starting. If they don't tell you to stop, it's a green light... girls enjoy dominance, and he has gotten away with making out with girls at the beginning of dates to having crazy sex by the time the date is over; rather than wating all the way til the date ends to get a peck on the cheek. He also rips girls' underwears off, rails them in the sack, he's just a kino-monster, but girls love it because he is so alpha. The key is not to worry about what they'll say if you do something, it's to let it happen and then deal with it. If they really want you to stop, stop and build comfort. If you can escalate again, do it.. or if the girl is way too much trouble, move on. There's hundreds other girls out there. Don't be afraid of approaching, the pain of not approaching is much more annoying .. you think about it for days being out of state which is a huge waste of time compared to just approaching and getting rejected/or not! (and it only takes a min).
All in all... I definitely feel more confident. I can't wait to approach and meet some new chicks; practice getting better. Tomorrow I'll clean up this post, it was kinda a rough draft, but I felt it was really important to get off my chest. Investment guys.. if she's not giving you what you desire, don't reward her. MAKE HER FUCKING WORK FOR IT. Same with your friends.. don't let them walk all over you; be the challenger, but give them props when they do cool stuff for you (offer value, or challenge you to be awesome too). If your girl or friends don't invest even though you give them lots of IOIs, DUMP THEM. Find some new people! That's being alpha. Don't be afraid of approaching or escalating. The pain of not doing and regretting is much worse than doing and getting rejected for a brief sec for it. Also you might not get rejected at all! That's the best case scenario!
- Cloud
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