Actually it wasn't really a versus match per se. It was more like Cloud kicked back and just met people. Omega and I were on the guestlist for Charm's social toast party. Since I didn't want to crowd the party with more sausage.. I invited a girl I picked up from a couple nights to come along.
The three of us went to Santa Monica near the Playa Vista area... man I love that area. That's where I used to work.. EA Games. (I was a video game tester in my past life). The setting was beautiful, near the beach and all the restaurants had a cozy nightlife feel to them. The party was at a place called 'World Cafe' and when we went inside there were already tons of beautiful people hanging out together. We quickly met with Charm and thanked him for the invite, then we began introducing ourselves to everyone else.
I noticed there were a ton of alpha looking guys in the room. Omega told me that many of the guys who show up to these parties are the cream of the crop in terms of Pickup, therefore they bring the hottest women to mingle together... for the purpose of meeting other hot women.
I felt a bit intimidated and thought to myself.. ("Hell can I even compete? I can be alpha and direct and all.. but I'd probably fuck up..given the last few nights at Hollywood and in the IE. I'm not anywhere close to being 'cream of the crop'...and also this is Charm's party.. he allowed me to come check it out.. and if I fuck it up, it would be like I would be telling him a big FUCK YOU dude".)
I still wanted to at least try to practice, but I didn't really know what I could do or not do. So I decided to kick back, watch what other guys were doing and see what was 'socially appropriate'. None of the guys were going crazy or escalating on chicks. I was a little worried... some big name CC guys were in the room .. I wondered if they would be hardcore closers having sex on the couch like in all these FRs I read about...Would I get left with scraps? Worse, would I get nothing at all and just be another AFC at the party?
To my surprise, no one was going crazy. Every guy there was 'normal'. People were just chatting and getting to know each other. I didn't see any hard escalation or makeouts. I began introducing myself to the guys first... to see if they'd try to 'frame' battle me in the first few seconds like some PUAs do. Didn't happen... much.. actually for the most part the guys were cool. We vibed pretty well. The only times I did run into 'frame battles' were from a couple CC members. One guy (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) tried to use frames on me to see what level I was at... and then spent time trying to explain game concepts to a girl who didn't care and felt weirded out by. (She ended up thinking I was 'adorable', giving me her number and Facebook and the other guy saw it.. I'll explain why I think it happened below).
Next up, I gained courage and talked to the girls. They were really nice too. I didn't really get 'shit tested' or if I did, it must have gone right through me because I just felt really relaxed and able to match wit for wit without much thinking. I got two numbers in my first few approaches - one from a blonde chick and one from a married chick. They thought I was really cool. Again I wasn't trying to game them.. I was just being cool and friendly. So the result was they genuinely wanted to hang out with me again sometime.
Another lady, kind of older, from South America, actually tried to 'game' me and some friends of Omega. It was weird.. all night I joked she was my cousin, because her name was the same as my real cousin's. But I kept pushing her 'away' as not really being interested in her. I think the other guys with me fed off my vibe and did the same. She offered to cook for us, and of course I thought that was awesome.. but we didn't really ask for the close or a day2. I think she thought it was super odd, so she handed out her business cards and put her number in my cell phone. She wanted to take us home to eat asap. Wow..
For my part, I kept moving around and talking. I was pretty ADD actually... I didn't really hang with any set too long, and if I did, I would mentally tell myself.. alright time to meet new person; the point is to socialize! And off I'd go. I must have got like 15 new Facebook friends, 6 or 7 numbers and definitely seen as one of the cool guys at the party.
Thoughts
========
That night was another big learning night for me... it made me pull myself to the side and think wow.. wtf is going on here? I remembered reading RSD stuff and how Tyler talked about how you can just be 'cool' and 'vibe' with others..
It made me think.. you don't necessarily have to 'game' people and frame battle them all the time to try to 'win' something... especially with a girl .. try to 'win' her number or her 'heart'.
The other nights when I was 'alpha/direct', I might get a girl's interest right away. But then continuing to act 'alpha', I felt my value lowering every minute. Instead of being 'interesting', I became sorta this weird guy treating everything as some sort of a 'contest'.. I'd have to think about what to say next to match her shit test, and act more 'alpha' than her. Design, you hit it on the money when you said I was probably being 'cocky' and not 'funny'.
Plus, when I became more aggressive in kino, there'd be a sense of desperation in it... like I was kinoing her more because I was probably going to blow out any second.
But when I was indirect at the social party, I didn't run into any of these problems. People sincerely wanted to hang with me again. I was kinoing, but it was more like 'appropriate' for the venue.. not a 'race to the finish line' if you will. Attraction was still there, and instead of it being quick like a flame in 'direct' style, it was more like a steady burn. With the girl who gave me her number and said I was adorable, all I did was be interesting and easy to talk to. I think in the other guy's case.. he weirded her out because he tried too hard to be alpha and convince her that game works and turned it into an unneccessary frame battle contest.
So what does this all mean? Should I be more indirect, and fuck being direct? No I don't think that's the case..
I do want to get laid as often as I can... and in the community, direct is seen as the best way to do so. Blow me or blow me out.. that's in my signature and my coach's philosophy. From this style I get a ton of no's but when I get a yes, it's like right there and waiting.. close me now!! I get more 'closing' experience as a result.
But I miss all the other 'potentials' I could have gotten by being indirect. So I think it just depends... on the nights when I want it hard and fast, and I have no risk to myself.. like my reputation with other guys who invited me isn't on the line.. I can be direct. When I am at a social party where people are more relaxed.. indirect is the way to go.. because I can always move the 'target' to a more appropriate venue and close. And in the end, using both styles have advantages.. with indirect you learn to relax and vibe with others... so people don't always feel stressed out and threatened by you. People can relax, and being able to relax others is attractive in its own ways. Alphaness is always going to be hot.. but it should be calibrated.
In any case, I'm glad I went out last week and practiced different styles.. I feel like my calibration has improved and I'm on my way to getting more lays all around.
- Cloud
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