Went to Hotseat with Tyler this weekend, basically what follows is my account of everything that Tyler spoke about (writing it while still fresh in my mind). My thoughts also included (below).
Tyler’s view of the modern world (men + women)
- The average girl lives in sexual abundance from her 20s to early 30s, after that it fades away like crazy and she becomes desperate to find a stable quality guy
- Most girls have had sexual encounters with other women, have tried various drugs, threesomes -- all in the name of ‘fun’
- ‘Fun’ is very much tied to the idea of being present and staying focused on being in the moment. This is even more so crucial when seducing a girl-- a girl may want to do ‘crazy sexual things’ but may not have the courage to do so, unless you are the guy who can open it up to her. (She doesn’t want to be responsible for it happening, but if you can tie it all in the name of fun, she will do so because the energy she’s getting from you is really great).
- The average girl is hit on by a small percent of confident guys out of all the guys in the population; which is still a huge number; so her view of guys is biased; most hot girls believe that guys have as much opportunity as them to meet other women as a result of this.
- Most men of today are living in denial, even though they might be slightly aware of how liberated girls are, they constantly downplay it and would rather NOT approach a girl they might perceive to be a “SLUT” because they just want to meet the perfect virgin girl by fate/destiny who’s also great in bed ... but that girl doesn’t exist -- she CAN’T exist.. its a logical paradox.
- Most dudes who wish for the ‘virgin’ gf are out of luck; dating is for the ‘guy’ not so much the girl-- guys want to believe their women would never be a ‘slut’; that their woman is ‘special’-- so the women they date act that way and hold off as long as possible on sex because they don’t want to reveal their ‘inner ways' and break up a good thing -- but at the same time these women will still cheat with other men and women on the side discretely anyway.
- Why do women hook up with loser/abusive guys or even other women? Because it’s easier for them to experiment and have fun; not be as committed -- most guys that are 'nice guys' want to tie these girls down from the get-go, which generally scares a lot of the young girls who still want to play the field. Loser guys / other women on the other hand don’t give a fuck. The guys who are super successful with these women fuck hundreds of women who look like them all the time; hence they already feel entitled to the sex; the chode guys SEVERELY lack entitlement, hence they spend much of their time/money chasing after the same girls who get dumped by loser bfs or just jacking off and hating on the internet.
- We as men are LOSING OUT daily because the reality of women cheating is TOO FAR outside our scope of what we pertain reality to be that we cover up for it or don’t believe it at all.
- Societal conditioning programs us to think girls aren’t all sluts, only a select few in the bars are; ‘good’ girls won’t have sex with random guys -- thus we believe someone is ‘out’ there for us and we don’t have to work that hard to find her-- destiny will guide us there.. to the ‘one’ magical girl.
- There is no ‘one’ magical girl; the GAME is the GAME. Every time you go out, if you do the same nice guy routine over and over, you will get the same result you got last time-- no matter how long you drag it out. This is the definition of insanity.
- Most men will never have the sexual abundance that women do; nor will the women that have it ever tell the guys they end up with about it; for fear the guy will judge them and leave them for it.
- Men don’t want to approach because society conditions us to have negative perceptions about pickup -- that it’s not NORMAL; yet at the same time that same societal conditioning is what’s draining our wallets, causing us to lose our girlfriends, and ultimately keep us slaves to the overall media machine.
- Men typically find it easier to bury themselves in work or workouts than to flirt with a woman they like... it's much harder on the ego to take constant rejection; thus we don’t face the fear.
- Picking up girls is HARD, and if your ego is constantly being bruised, though you’ve been successful everywhere else; why would you want to spend your time being torn down by girls who don’t have even half your accomplishment every night? Guys who might have money and looks, still can be chodes because they expect the girls to like and respect them for their ‘hard work in life’-- but this is a fallacy; no girl cares about how hard you worked, they just want to know how good you are at making them feel in the moment; how you learn to effectively read and communicate to them emotionally is KEY. This is why pickup is so good for you-- it trains your mind to get better at having solid interactions, which most men FAIL at.
- Tyler considers himself a 1%er-- that is, 1%ers are the number of guys who are successful in this world; e.g. with women, money. The difference between a guy like him and the other 99% of people who live poor and in poverty mentality is that he has the ability to FOCUS. Successful people can FOCUS on something for hours, even something simple like reading, or studying/working. People who are UNSUCCESSFUL in life are STIMULUS JUNKIES-- obsessed with the latest ‘shiny’ thing, because we live in a time where we are surrounded with constant bombardment of distractions-- junk food, technology, Facebook, cheap thrills, instant gratification.
- As a result, most people, ESPECIALLY modern day girls DO NOT have to work hard or focus on anything; most girls he meets in the bars are running around the club jumping at the chance to do anything fun. The more fun it is, the more they’ll gravitate to that direction. This is why it’s HARD to meet a girl of QUALITY in this day and age -- most girls are STUPID because they don’t EVER have to work hard to get a guy’s attraction; they live in abundance, get free shit all the time; even if they’re fat or ugly, they have more options than you as a guy will ever have. And if there are no guys, they are content with hooking up with women too.
Tyler’s style of ‘Game’ 2013
- When I first saw Tyler in 2011 or whenever, I was blown away by how fast he could get into sets; basically he could just open a girl with ‘who are you?’, shake their hand and be in conversation right away.
- Where I stumbled was with what to do afterwards-- over time of course, I learned to stay charming, be present to the moment, not judge, lead and escalate, and through that process I got laid fairly often in 2012.
- I messed up a lot though because I would get needy for the girls I was dating; expecting that after having sex with them or whatever that they would be my girlfriend-- it was a painful thing to realize that most girls just wanted to continue dating while staying in a casual relationship (not exclusive -- I guess I had wanted a solid girlfriend from the start-- which depressed me for the rest of 2012 and into 2013).
- By the end of 2012, I assessed that I was simply a ‘backburner’ option for many of the girls I had met. Even though I was playing good game-- I realized a lot of the girls I’d been seeing had other options, were constantly pitting me against these other options (in comparison); and if I gave them so much as a slight reason to drop me -- perhaps low self esteem, neediness, insecurity with my job situation, ‘pushing hard for sex/relationship’, or being ‘cheap’, it would happen.
- This is what caused me to take myself seriously in 2013, since then I have been SUPER focused on being in shape, making money, having my lifestyle together; etc. I wrote out all the areas I’d like to improve in, timeframes, and tasks needed to get there. You could say improving my game in summer was a big thing too- which led me up to exploring Hotseat 3. Tyler seemed to be having MASSIVE results, more so than I’d ever accomplished, and I wanted to know why/how... what had changed?
- In 2013, Tyler is still doing the same thing but MUCH MORE AGGRESSIVE, especially from the get-go. Breaking it down here is a recap of his signature moves as I saw them in the videos:
- Sees girl -- immediately pulls her or grabs her out of crowd, brings her into his arm; as he is doing it, authoritatively he commands “HEY-- Who are you?” or “Who the FUCK are YOU?”
- LOUD, Authoritative dominance over their frame while inserting his own frame of ABSURD, HUMOROUS REALITY / REALITY SHIFTING on them (instead of them doing to him vice versa-- e.g. having to leave, find their friends, calling him creepy) while having a frame of total fun -- no worry if it blows out
- Examples:
- “SLUT” / “DOG” / “WHORE” in a loud voice
- Would you fuck a man like me with a tiny penis? Want to touch it? *Goes into thread how he’s a master licker while putting girl’s hand on his cock*
- “STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and COME with me so I can molest you in that alley over there”
- RACIAL COMMENTS - “You’re a fucking mexican taco bell chick”, “Shut the fuck up you white trash filthy whore, you have no future.... you work at Wendy’s”...
- I hate you / I love you - cognitive dissonance threads
- YOU'RE MY SLUT, then looking at some other girl and saying he FUCKS WHORES LIKE THIS EVERY NIGHT, could have been YOU
- You look Asian-- to a white girl; guessing her race as the wrong thing
- Deliberate misinterpretation of the girl possibly coming onto him, especially in loud environments
- Shutting down their threads of having to go with absurd demands (make out with me right now, you’re my slut, oh how I’ve missed you, I date jailbait, come with me over there (no further explanation just super authoritative-- extracting her from friends/environment)
- Hypnosis - reference to Rick H, Ross Jeffries
- I'm only into girls that like other girls.. is that you? --that way he opens up possibility of threesomes
- Making up plots together with girls to get rid of the boyfriend; authoritatively telling her to tell the other guy that Tyler is gay and she just wants to make a new friend-- then getting her number or letting Tyler have permission to escalate on her
- The LOUD voice helps him especially with getting girls to just come with him somewhere-- he’ll stand over and over in front of them, saying the same stupid thing -- GO, FOOD, LET’S GO, DURR, FOOD, GO, LET’S GO. Because it’s authoritative, the girls eventually submit and want to go with him, because he says they are stimulus junkies and they like the fact he is asserting dominance.
- Saying he just has a quick question, then asking friends of girl if he can talk to her for 2 minutes; bribing friends for ‘future’ possibilities as a way to shake them off..
- He has a QUICK & MASSIVE KINO ESCALATION CYCLE - as he’s bullshitting to girls holding them close to him, or asserting dominant style:
- He picks them up from the waist, spins the girl around
- Sometimes he’ll spin the girl around from a handshake opener (Julien talked about this too)
- Lots of pulling her close to him, kissing almost on first meet, or easing her into a kiss
- Sometimes he’ll just grab the girl, pick her up and walk off with her -- complete extraction from a set so he can start his instadate.
- A lot of times his entire opener to a grab with the girl in his arms is less than 30 seconds.
- If it fucks up, or the girl feels he’s being too pushy, he’ll apologize and go backwards a few steps. But he’ll come on to them again and again and again each time.. he said he’s done at least 20-30 apologies at times with girls before he finally slept with them.
- Backing up and saying sorry, sorry while still continuing conversation gets her to relax if she feels pressured/uncomfortable
- “Fine throw me away like a piece of garbage” - if a girl resists his advances
- Make it seem like she's coming on hard to you.
- He’ll pit girls against each other to drive up his overall perceived ‘attraction’
- Will get one girl with him, pull another complete random girl into set, have the two talk to each other, while they talk to him; at the same time they wonder what about the other is attracted to the guy their with... as if Tyler is some big shot
- SUPER QUICK EXTRACTION -- he’ll take girls who are attracted almost instantly with him somewhere; anywhere-- he’ll just grab by the hand and lead -- e,g. “Let’s grab tacos”, “let’s find a place to sit”, “I’ll drive”.
- He is quick to pick up girls, especially if he feels the attraction and take them with him into a taxi-- back to wherever his hotel is.
- On average about 5-15 minutes with each set upon open, if it takes longer he moves quickly and finds other girls too (especially if no number yet or further physical escalation).
- If he gets a number, he'll try to call them later that night or next day to hang out. He will act like a drunk gay best friend to get them to send him their address, then just show up to fuck them.
- KISSING
- Pay attention to eye contact -- the ANIME EYES as Tyler says.
- Girls who are really into you can’t take their eyes off you, especially if you’ve been playing great game from the get-go. Most will hold their gaze and continue to talk to you while smiling or playing with their hair, laughing.
- Another great way to test their readiness to kiss you is how far you can go into their personal space with your face; seeing if they break eye contact.
- If she doesn’t break eye contact, you’re good to go, you can kiss her.
- Even better, if she starts staring at your lips, you know she’s thinking about kissing again.
- Fluff while kissing is great, keep her mind distracted while you push in harder on her
- HANDLING SHIT
- If a set’s not going well, he’ll instantly pull another girl and start talking to her; possibly even makeout with that girl in front of the other girl, who then will later open up because she gets horny too.
- (He did this to a chick on the phone who wouldn’t open up to him initially, but later saw that he had made out with her friend before so then lowered her guard; and also to a girl from NY who kept saying she wasn’t into him, but he kept showing her he was ‘perfection’, by pulling other girls in front of her, being super balsy, etc.)
- He’ll also bring in another girl he’ll pull into set, introduce them to each other and at the same time make them feel insecure about each other while wondering about him -- why he’s so attractive to the other.
- COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
- Probably a HUGE component in Tyler’s game (I think he took this from Julien)-- as he’s escalating physically and fast-- he’s also saying stuff to the girls that doesn’t match what he’s doing at all--
- For example the SLUT / BITCH / WHORE / DOG threads-- he’s basically calling girls names while giving them lots of affection kino-wise, pulling them in close to him, or picking up them up and spinning them around.
- Additionally, he makes it seem that he’s the innocent guy, that the girls have some mystical powers of seduction over him / that they are some sexual deviant hitting on him -- so he’ll say things like “STOP IT”, “WE’RE GOING TOO FAST, SLOW DOWN”,yet he’s pushing HARD on them and escalating..
- Even in reframes for later, when friends of the girl ask how the girl met him; he’ll say she came on to her; re-enacting pickup as if the girl did it in some cheesy manner (usually making the girl laugh).
- FLUFF with lots of ironic self deprecation / situational conversation / I FEEL HE’S ALSO SCREENING HERE
- Talking about where he’s from, where she’s from
- Parents / Towns they grew up in
- Travel / Parts of the world they’ve seen
- Eating healthy / Healthy lifestyles
- Analyzing each others’ fashion, cold-reading
- If friends are present, pulling them in, asking how they knew each other
- Pictures in his phone, (pictures of him with kids make the girls more attracted because they feel maternal instinct)
- Sexual topics -- if the girl is very sexually open, his tiny dick, master licker, anal sex, talking about filling her up with his semen and impregnating her with a pasty white baby (playing up his race)
- WALKING WITH THEM as a way to build rapport / trust
- Especially if they’re moving; showed us some sets like a Japanese girl he walked and talked with only to find the guy she was with was some guy who wanted to be her bf, but she was more interested in Tyler.
- STANDING IN FRONT OF THEM, NOT LEAVING even if it’s awkward as fuck
- If the girl doesn’t leave, you are free to keep talking to her, as it’s a public place; you have the freedom to talk to anyone, she has the freedom to shut it down at any time.
- He talked to some bartender chick awkwardly for 15 minutes, but because he kept up the persistence and built comfort, he was able to get her through just basic persuasion to grab some food together.
- Handling cockblock friends
- Teasing the cockblock friends in their face to get them to take the girl away from him.
- BRIBING THEM POTENTIALLY with future stuff -- good dinners, being awesome boyfriend, drinks etc; seems to work well especially with Asians who like free stuff
- Saying the girl is totally into his type-- ‘pasty white’, looking for a guy like that
- Wingmen aka Julien, Brad, Alex - coming to step in for mothers/fat friends
- His ‘girlfriend’ as the ultimate wingwoman’ - definitely in the authoritative stages; if Tyler wants to try for a makeout with another girl (aka threeway kiss). (It felt like Tyler was emulating Jeffy from Jeffy’s book Nineball-- where Jeffy would take his bisexual girl to clubs and game other girls together as a team).
- GETTING LAID
- Especially from cold-approach pickup, he says sometimes it takes on average 10 hours from meet to fuck. Most of the long parts come towards the end at the girl’s house where he deals with resistance; he says he is successful lying in bed with the girl together, but has an enormous erection which he has to masturbate off in the bathroom to be able to keep ‘gaming’ the girl while lying together. Ultimately by the end of the night or morning, she’s warmed up and ready to fuck. Most girls will just want to fuck because of the long hours of comfort together in bed.
- The way he invites himself in, is by asking if he can pee real quick
- Tyler also says most girls will fuck him because they are just bored..
- After Tyler fucks them, they blow up his phone with texts always wanting to know what he’s up to and if he can come over to fuck some more..
Additional Thoughts from Tyler
- If girls are calling you ‘player’ but you’re still not in abundance yet, don’t fret-- you’re very close to getting laid a lot-- your game is very close to being good enough to pull.
- Shows like Entourage - Ari Gold, is a great character, he acts just like a douche that most girls would find attractive because he walks around ENTITLED all the time.
- On Californication, Tyler believes the lines are fucking genius, but ultimately it’s not about wit in reality; it’s about how great you are with reading and picking up on nonverbal communication and social cues -- which can only be built from experience going out.
- The reason your penis doesn’t get hard for a hot girl you see in real life is because you DON’T FEEL ENTITLED TO IT. But if you saw the same hot girl in a porn on your computer, you would get hard because you FEEL ENTITLED TO THE PORN. Your mind has basically tricked you in real life that you shouldn’t have sex with the girl you see for real because you are afraid of rejection/embarrassment/failure. You need to train your brain to feel entitled, which then will propel you to get a boner in real life when you see her and then you can walk over to her and convey that you are man looking to fuck a woman-- and she’ll pick up on it.
- Tyler eats at Tendergreens restaurant (as part of his paleo diet -- basically veggies and lean meat only -- no carbs/sugars (unless natural)-- to stay in shape); he also doesn’t drink or take drugs-- because it fucks up his best ‘weapon’ -- his brain, which he uses to full extent in the field (like some evil genius).
- Most people take drugs / alcohol because it provides them stimulus; but again it’s poor man thinking, he’s not a poor man-- he takes the hard route to be mmmm richer... lol
- As a man, must take care of your life for YOURSELF because that’s fucking important-- sex is not the only thing in life-- you need money, wisdom, travel, health..., but at the same time, if you are doing those things, don’t be a chode and sit in the house making up excuses about going out when it’s finally time to -- JUST GO OUT. PICKUP IS AS MUCH OF A LIFE SKILL AS EVERYTHING ELSE -- ONE THAT YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF.. otherwise you’ll just be very successful at having a job but no women.
- When you approach, these are the main points to consider:
- Are you clear in intent? -- Does the girl feel it? (Are you communicating to her like a man who’s interested in for her being a woman?)
- Are you present to the moment?
- Are you building momentum? -- Every rejection is a state builder
- Focus on number of interactions you have, and not bullshit things like going on dates spread far and in between
- Approach every girl that night, even a simple tap on the shoulder works if you’re just trying to warm up. If they ignore you, go on to next set QUICKLY
- Treat this Hotseat as if you paid $3000 for it; or a high amount of money for it; if you don’t apply the knowledge you learn from here you are a fool wasting his money. Tyler spent his hard earned money in his early years because he really wanted to learn this stuff. You should have that same fervor-- (I think in ways too, Tyler might be looking to find the next guy who continues the pickup legacy).
My Thoughts
- Tyler is definitely WAY MORE HARDCORE than when I first met him 2011.
- You can tell he definitely has spent his past few years really pushing himself in terms of doing pickup and pushing himself to the limit (and even further beyond).
- I really think he took the route of Jeffy and recently mixed in Julien’s style as well-- basically he’s more authoritative and loud like Jeffy was in Nineball; and more ‘evil’ in terms of confusing a girl like Julien is with cognitive dissonance.
- I watch him because I feel I have reached my limits in terms of pickup; I basically game still like a ‘nice guy’ with some elements of douchebaggery here and there, but haven’t been able to progress further than that. I have some results here and there, but it’s nowhere even close to the reality of Tyler or even his instructors...so for me to get to that level, I have to see it, have to internalize it; hence why I took Hotseat -- to see what’s further possible and begin to set goals to get there.
- Some criticism from the other guys in the group was that “Tyler might be at a level we’ll never get to”, because he focused all his efforts into picking up 24/7. The average guy can’t go out like he can because we all have jobs/responsibilities; his only job and responsibility is his pickup. I partly think this is true, but again I hope to push past my own limits and achieve greatness further than what I presently have for myself at the moment-- not really looking to compete with Tyler, just be inspired.
- Tyler’s views on women is borderline misogynistic. It’s funny to hear him talk about women as ‘sluts’, ‘whores’, ‘dumbasses’, pretty much flowers rotting into old age by their early 30s... but at the same time everything he says is also kinda scary-- because you wonder if you’ll adopt the same views about women some day too, by taking this path.. I sometimes wonder if he’s jaded by his massive experience in the field, and if because he’s the main man behind RSD selling us a business; he’s doing it just for the money and in all reality he might really hate fucking the women he meets in the field... it’s all like some sideshow thing because he’s in the spotlight so much. He says he wants to meet a quality woman-- but at the same time he says 90% of women in Hollywood are whores--- so why is he hanging out there? What is quality to him? Has he found it? I think he rationalized to us that at the moment he’s just content being like ‘George Clooney’ and never marrying, rather picking up young hot women and having great sex.. even if there is no further future beyond that.
- Still-- MAKE NO MISTAKE, his method is helping attract A LOT of women, and getting him tons of makeouts and sex.
- Tyler said many of his pickup interactions are like ‘bad porn’. I actually believe that; in my youth I used to watch A LOT of bad porn, and I remember how the interactions were so weird and awkward. In my own adult life, weaning myself off of porn and replacing that with interactions with real women; I feel like the scripts are all awkward and bad which is probably a testament to porn-- in a way life is like bad porn, but hey- you still can get laid, which is a pretty good analogy.
- I’m done with dating; I believe that interactions are way more fun than going on ‘dates’ with girls, even from ‘online’ or wherever. To me, you can have way more interactions than dates in one night, and you know if a girl is into you MUCH FASTER than if you were to waste days writing messages to each other. Plus, real life dating is such a waste of time too-- if you date a girl, you just put her in courtship mode so she will hold off on having sex with you. That’s fucking retarded, you should always push for sex from the get-go and set the frame properly. Tyler has sex with girls and then they learn he’s a successful businessman, whom they want-- rather than he explain to her through a series of dates that he’s successful and convince her to finally sleep with him (which could be months later). I totally agree with this idea.
- In any case, I’m going to use all the knowledge I gained from Hotseat 3 to help me propel my game this summer. I needed a fresh perspective, and I definitely am going to incorporate elements of Tyler’s new style into my own game so I can be more successful. I believe that in order for me to succeed with women, I have to be committed now, more than ever to go out and really build on my current pickup skillsets to go from ‘okay’ to ‘really good’ to MASSIVELY GOOD.
