So if you’ve been following along with the last few posts, you’ll see that I sorta had a marathon day2 week last week. Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and finally Sunday (today). I finished off the first two FRs last week, but I was so far behind on my other work - like actually finding a job that I blew off writing until now. It didn’t help that I also fell kinda sick towards the end of last week -- even though I was hardcore gaming, my mind started to get disgusted at myself. I wasn’t taking care of my health, spending too much money, sharing too much spit with different women, that I started to fall apart in terms of character. Though I had another date with a pretty good looking chick who was DTF (pretty solid), I rejected her instead because I felt she would be too needy for me later on in life.
She was really into me too, texting me everyday, telling me what color panties she was wearing or how she ‘wanted’ me in ‘that way’... but I felt like I was getting disgusted with being too much of a manwhore. I also felt like she wouldn’t be appreciative of my manwhore ways in sleeping around with other women, and would try to pin me down into some sort of exclusive relationship so that’s why I got out of it as soon as I could.
As far as how everything happened, I met this chick on OKC -- she messaged me first. She was Indian, so I was like “Hmm.. my own race... should be fun to see how this turns out, given that I always date other race girls.”
I didn’t even say much to her online, I just replied to the initial message she sent and she replied back with her number in the next message telling me to call her. I called her on Friday, the day that Mercedes Girl was coming over and right from the get-go it was pretty intent driven (on her part).
She told me that she thought I was really cute and that she wanted to go on a date. (Wow, just like that huh?), I thought. (No playful banter or shit tests? No bullshit comfort foreplay?). I felt a little scared for myself -- this is too soon, I felt like a hot bitch who needed more comfort first. So I said to her “Well, that’s cool and all but why don’t you tell me about yourself first?”
So she started telling me her RESUME. o_O. I felt like a chick, who was hearing a dude read off his resume of impressive accomplishments to me. Such supplication I thought. She was well qualified though, a degree in Hotel Management, good upbringing, seemed intelligent. I looked at her profile pic while on the phone, and she looked kinda good. (Okay, I’ll give it a chance I thought). Still I wanted more conversation first -- so I continued to ask stuff about her, which she did for a while until she began to pester if I liked her in the same way and if I’d go out with her. (Whoa.. what is this?) I thought. I told her I would see her on Sunday, and of course she asked “Why not tomorrow? (Saturday)”, so I told her that I was busy that day. She seemed annoyed but she gave in.
The same night, as I was getting it on with Mercedes Girl, this girl (Direct girl? Sure.) started messaging me like crazy. “What are you up to right now? I can’t wait to see you!” “Guess what I’m wearing right now...”
I guess my fault was replying back to these messages because I felt myself starting to lose interest and rather lead her on. She was a validation whore. I mean I guess it’s cool she was really into me and wanted to fuck badly -- but I could just feel that getting out of control as time went on.
Mercedes Girl joked that I was too much of a player but I put her hand on my cock and she obligingly gave me a hand job instead. I stopped texting Direct girl, and of course after Mercedes had left -- my phone had been blown up with texts.
The next day as I was gaming Hoop girl, Direct girl continued to spam text me asking me hundreds of questions -- “What are you up to now? I just got out of the shower, would you like to see me?” Again I made it worse by texting back -- and at that time I was in full high value male mode.. so I threw out hoops of my own instead at her, which she gladly jumped into.
“Hmm, well I am just about to get in the shower, so why don’t you imagine what that looks like instead ;-)”
She excitedly ate that shit up man. I felt a bit creeped out. She gave me the address to her house and said that she wished I could come over right now and “watch a ‘movie’ with her.” I thought about ditching Hoop girl and going for this girl that night, but alas I felt I’d learn more if I went to see Hoop girl instead who was the incredible challenge of the week. I finally got Hoop to come out after a massive hoop frame battle which was fun, so I didn’t want to throw that away for an easy fuck -- even if it was sex. I felt satisfied already from my experience with Mercedes by this point who had given me ample amount of challenge and satisfaction. (To this date, I feel like Mercedes is still the coolest out of the four I dated last week).
Finally, Sunday came -- the day Direct Girl had been waiting for. We were originally supposed to meet at 1, but I held off til 3, mainly ‘cause I was being an ass and just wanted to focus on applying for jobs instead. She tolerated it though. That was hardcore investment man, but it was too much -- too soon.
I met up with her at her home, and expected her to just take me in to fuck her. To my surprise, even though she jumped on me upon first meet and gave me a big hug, she wanted me to take her out to eat.
“I’m really hungry! I haven’t eaten all day, I’ve just been waiting for you,” she said.
“Really, well you shouldn’t have done that. You should have eaten something..”, I said.
“No, let’s go eat now.. then maybe after we can watch a movie or something …AT the THEATER ;-)” she said.
“Okay, lol.” (Wow this interaction is going so fast).
As we drove to find something to eat, she put her hand on mine. (Wow, she made the first move already -- I am so not comfortable -- she is leading the interaction here, not me.)
I wondered to myself whether I should lead at all or just go with it. Should I be the submissive and let her dominate? Or should I dominate her instead? What should I do in this case? I felt like I needed to dominate -- after all that was what I had been practicing all week -- so I started cutting her threads and bringing in conversation of my own.
I put my hand on top of her hand instead. She liked that. I looked at her like I was going to kiss her, but then I stopped myself -- should I? What about flirting? Don’t you want to do that, Cloud?
I flirted with her like I was gonna kiss her, then I stopped. I think it made her more insane. We still hadn’t eaten yet, so I thought to myself -- just fucking chill. You don’t have to make a move at all until wayy later. She’ll be cool -- she waited all this time, she can wait some more and hell-- I still wanna know more about what I’m getting myself into.
We stop at Elephant Bar, but it looks hella crowded so I tell her I want to go somewhere else. She seems a bit insistent on going, but I say I’d rather be somewhere else. So we walk around some more, and I hold her hand. Actually, I think at that moment, I just wanted to enjoy a bit of hand holding. But she was a little impatient -- I think she was really super hungry, so we ended up going to BJs right away -- no stroll through the corporate park.
At BJs, I suggested we eat at the bar, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to get a booth so we could be somewhere more private without distraction. I didn’t argue with her, but she seemed to be getting to me. She just didn’t seem ‘chill’. We waited a while for a table, and while we were waiting, I continued to ask her about her life, make small conversation -- but she seemed really disinterested, rather just waiting for me to make a move instead and super impatient with the waiters for making us wait a while. She would occasionally get up and ask the waiters when we’d get a table. It was a bit embarrassing. I felt like others were looking at me and laughing because my ‘girlfriend’ was so impatient.
We ordered some food, I continued to be super chilled out and let her ‘lead’; which she did just fine. Our food took a while to come, which made her start to get ADD, so even though I tried to help by steering her back into bullshit conversation, she began to get pissed off with the waiters. The waiter apologized and promised to get us our food faster. I kept thinking to myself -- “Focus on me.. I’m the hot chick. The food doesn’t matter yo.. it’s our time together.” She couldn’t.
Finally the food came, and when it was served -- she hated it. “It’s so terrible.. I can’t believe they didn’t make it spicy like it showed on the menu,” she said.
I thought it tasted fine. She didn’t agree with me, and I felt more offput -- then she took it further and yelled at the waiter for giving her such a bad dish. Man.. I was so turned off. I grinned sheepishly at the waiter who grinned back knowingly -- “Yeah, I couldn’t agree more” he almost seemed to say. The waiter promised to bring back another plate, which he did -- and this time the food was more to her taste, but it was too much for her to eat, so she shared with me. I, of course, couldn’t take it -- it was too spicy. “Are you a real Indian?” she asked. “Indians eat spicy food!” “Lol, I can’t”, I said. “I get stomach problems if I do.” Sure enough, I felt myself starting to want to throw up.
Finally she wanted me to pay for the food. She was insistent on it. It was a bit weird, and I felt like telling her off at that point. But I stopped myself and without thinking signed the bill. I didn’t feel good, I wasn’t into her anymore, my body language out of control.. and then she said...
“You know what, I think I’ll go home then.. I have to get up early tomorrow anyway and I don’t want to be late for work.”
I thought to myself -- no need, I’ll do it for you girl. “It’s all good, I don’t think I’m a match for you,” I said.
“What?”, she asked. Her eyes bugged out for a sec. “Yeah, I think you should date around some more. I don’t think it’s going to work out long term,” I said.
She looked hurt. I softened it though by saying “You’re the type who shouldn’t be alone, so that’s why I’m saying this. I think you need more friends first.” At least she took it like a champ. I continued on with saying that I was in seeing other girls and that I didn’t really see myself being exclusive at any point. She tried to tell me that was okay, but I could see in her face that wasn’t what she wanted.
“I’ve been on way more dates than you, so I kinda know what I want at this point. I suggest you date some more too, that way you’ll also meet someone you’re more compatible with.” She seemed sad, but I told her she could ask me for any advice with dating -- I had been on several 100 dates already. She seemed shocked by that, but at the same time felt a little better she wasn’t dating a player :-). I dropped her back home and she gave me a long hug before she left goodbye.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
I dumped her for the following reasons:
1) I had too many girls in rotation
2) This girl was the most needy of the lot
3) I don’t want to be embarrassed in public
4) I like leading.. if the girl wants to lead a little, it’s okay.. but I think she needs to be able to chill also... I don’t always want to play backseat
5) I like the chase -- if it’s so straightforward from the start, what’s the fun? We might as well be married.
6) Where were the commonalities?
I got a lot of flak though from my wings, Sparrow and Luck for dumping this chick. They both told me I should have fucked her -- it wouldn’t have been as bad as I thought. They said she was ‘qualified’ -- she had a good background, and even though she was forward -- she knew what she wanted which was a good thing. Still, I just couldn’t get myself comfortable with the idea of fucking her. I also felt a little weird because in my head I’ve never met such a forward Indian girl -- I guess I’ve always thought of Indian girls as more innocent like -- meeting a girl who made the first moves put me into my head. However, Luck and Sparrow said that Indian girls are horny just like every other girl, and I shouldn’t try to put them on higher pedestals. I should just fuck them - it might be fun and enjoyable. I dunno.. maybe it’s a cultural thing -- I just thought of scary stuff like getting married to this chick and my folks finally being happy that I got with an Indian girl. I felt like I’d rather be a player for life than settle down with a crazy chick...
Anyways, objectively speaking (and coherently speaking -- I’m not sick anymore and I did a good job this week taking care of my job situation and exercise), I think looking back now.. I’d date an Indian chick. I’d even fuck her. I just think that there needs to be more in common next time -- and someone more chill. I’m a high value guy now, and I don’t want to waste my time fucking any chick that throws herself at me and deal with her BS -- high value guys gotta screen, and look for good qualities -- then choose someone who’s compatible enough with their core values. Moving forward, I continue to screen and be selective.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
FR - Shooting Hoops (Most Important FR to Date) 2-19-11
So for the past month, I’ve been talking to a girl I met on OKC, that I’ll name the ‘Hoop girl’. Lovely name, right? Well, to be honest -- she’s a piece of work. So far, to be honest -- one of the hardest girls I’ve ever had to game in my life.
I’ve been sort of dreading to write about this experience, because it’s gone on so long that I feared I’d have to break down every last chat, phone call, day2 experience and roll it all up into some 20 page disasterpiece, lol. Still, I feel it’s important to talk about because it’s also one of the best experiences I’ve had to date. I will do my best to try to condense this report as much as I can.
I opened this girl by asking her a question about her profile; it said “Ask me if you want to know” under the ‘most private thing you’re willing to admit’.
So I posed the question, “What’s the most private thing you’ve ever done?”
She responded back with “Well, it doesn’t say most private thing you’ve ever done. For that you’d need to be at least ‘friends’ with me to know. But as far as private thing I’m willing to admit; I like to be dominated. Btw, your profile is quite smug.”
When I read that message, I was like -- “WOAH HELL YA! She likes domination! She might be DTF, and this could be another easy lay” in my mind. I started chatting with her online because I saw the chat bubble was up, to see if I could close that sucker. She looked hella hot in her picture.
However, she was anything BUT easy. The moment we started talking, and I started to flirt -- that was when she started to be super sarcastic and somewhat even short in conversation. It’s like she didn’t even want to talk to me. So I switched to being funny and whatever response she threw out at me, I threw back something witty and funny. I also took none of the interaction seriously -- expecting a blowout at some point. Yet the conversation continued to go on and on.
After a while, she stopped being sarcastic and instead gave me a compliment. “You are funny, and I like that.”
Awesome, I thought to myself. Maybe I should go for the close now. I asked her for her number and a possible day2. I got her number. Then she threw me the hoop.
“However, I won’t be able to go out this week,” she said. “You can try for next weekend, that’s when I’m probably free.”
(Ugh.. next weekend? I thought to myself.) In my experience with online dating -- if you wait a week or longer on the first meetup with a woman, she’ll more or less forget who you are. Mainly because you’re a dude she met ‘online’. There are so many other guys hitting on her daily, that even if you made her laugh and got her number -- she probably did that for seven other guys (and girls these days). Factor this with the fact she’s in college, going to UCLA -- one of the most hip schools in the country, probably meets plenty of cool people in real life already -- and then you know -- waiting a week to see her is a genuinely bad idea. As we know BT is easily transferable - so if I made her feel good now and later some one else comes along and capitalizes on it -- that’s it for me, man. You gotta act while the iron is hot with these things.
Yet, there was no way I could act on it. She was no go at hanging out this week. I felt that I might as well just keep some contact with her thru text or chat, but move on to other girls -- because otherwise I’d start chasing her, which would not be good.
So I left her alone, went about gaming other chicks and setting up day2s. But for some reason, I couldn’t get my mind off this girl. I liked her a lot -- how the hell could I get her, I thought to myself? I felt that as a PUA, I should know -- it’s not enough to be able to say I can game some types of girls into bed with me; I feel like I should know how to game all types of girls into bed. Especially the intelligent college girl types that are ultra hot and in high demand.
The next day, I went online and saw she was available. I tried to start conversation, but she didn’t respond on chat -- so I just wrote “ah well, just seeing if you were there. I’ll talk to you later.” 4 hours later, she responded back saying “Hey.”
I was online at that time, so I wrote back and started asking her about her day, and talking about what I was up to. She listened, but gave very short responses. “Oh, cool.” “Haha, I see.” “Interesting.”
Nothing was hitting. I tried to be funny again, and it got some laughs, “Hahaha”, or “That’s pretty funny”, but nothing was really making her stop what she was doing and put some of her own conversation forward. I decided to give up and do something else. “Talk to you later I said.” At least that way, I’d made some conversation with her and I could keep in contact until the weekend when maybe I could try to call her up and set up the next day2. If I talked about meeting up again right now, it’d seem needy -- so all I’d do at this point was just make ‘conversation’ to build comfort. No outcome seeking here -- just plain good ‘ol comfort. I figured I could build my 7 hours of comfort starting now and by the weekend she’d be down to meet.
I messaged her another day, talked to her about things I did in my day -- and of course she didn’t respond til a few hours later. She told me that she was quite busy with homework and that she really didn’t have time to make conversation -- and apologized to me for it. She told me if that bothered me that I should probably find someone else. In that moment, I supplicated and told her “It’s okay, no big deal,” and continued trying to make conversation until it also died out. She would go on and offline, and sometimes if I said something to her, I’d get zero reaction. I’d have to start up new threads again and hope something would hit, or there’d be periods of dead silence.
The day my friend Sifu came to visit, I got a little balsy and tried to call her up to see what she was up to. She didn’t answer. I think it was Valentine’s Day, so I just said to her that I wanted to make some small talk on voicemail, being that I thought she was really cute and it being Valentine’s Day.
She didn’t call back, but she left me a chat message saying “Thanks for the message. It was sweet of you.” I was wondering why she didn’t call back to just say that. So I asked her. “It’s hard to get me by phone,” she said. “I rarely have time to answer. You’ll be lucky to catch me if I do.”
More shit... another fucking hoop. I didn’t realize it at the time, instead I just fell into the hoop and said “It’s all good, just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines”. Another day wasted, no real emotional connections being built here -- just more superficial junk going back and forth. As far as I’m concerned, she could have been laughing her ass off on the other side -- who knows how many guys called to wish her a Happy Valentine’s day. This girl was starting to remind me of why I felt so frustrated coming into pickup. It sucked, I felt like I was gaming another ghost of my past -- a girl who I’d wasted almost a year chasing until I finally got friend zoned by her, and now here I was doing it all over again. Yet I needed to figure out what to do -- or I’d go mad that two years later into pickup, I still didn’t have the skill to get the girls I really wanted, just a bunch of drunks in a club. Would that be my life?
The next day, I gathered courage and tried to run funny stuff again. It hit! For some reason, she was more playful and so we got into some witty banter. I began complimenting her and saying she was super hot; how I wanted to slam her against the wall and make out with her. Even though she was turned on, she gave a lot of shit. “Sounds creepy. I dunno if I’d let you do that. :-) Maybe you can take me to dinner first.” So I tried to set up the day2 again, but she continued to play the ‘busy’ card.
“I dunno what I’m doing this weekend”, she said. “I’m going out with a couple other friends, one of my guy friends is coming into town, so I’ll have to see him. Maybe I might have a couple hours to see you after 10pm on on Sunday night. You let me know if that’s okay.”
All this shit.. I thought to myself. She’s so playing me. She’s either a hell of a player, or she’s really just that busy. How do I turn this around? I went back and re-read all the chats I had with her -- every last single one I had was saved on my Google and OKC chats. USE THAT shit to your advantage fellas.
It was then I started to see the pattern. For the most part, I’d run my basic game which consists of situational observations or cold reading, along with playfulness and then compliments. When I’d get to the compliments part, that was when I’d get the first signs of shit.
“How many other girls have you said that to?” “Does it get tiring running the same stuff on tons of girls on here, only to get rejected and having to go back to square one with a different girl?” (Lol, that one kinda hurt my fake ego). When I’d ignore and continue stacking, she’d see that I was unaffected and start to warm up a bit; where I’d ask for a close. It was when I asked for a close, I’d get some sort of ‘bait’, but then also a big GIANT hoop.
It was almost like this girl was saying to me “SURE, I’ll give you the close, if you jump this huge giant Grand Canyon for me. Haha, see here it is! **Swing swing swing** My phone number!! A date with me!! Want it?? HERE!! TAKE IT IF YOU CAN!! **Swing Swing Swing**”
This was where I finally started to feel the advice of several of my wings and teachers kick in...
From my friend, Sifu, “If you can see past her beauty man, she aint nothing. Women are always trying to put themselves on pedestals so they can make their way up the ladder of society. Our society teaches women from early on, that if you look pretty, you can get into clubs for free, guys will buy you nice shit, you can be a rude bitch and everyone will forgive you because you’re hot. Don’t be a fucking pussy man and buy into that bullshit. If a woman realizes you see her for what she really is, she’ll realize real fast that you are a different kind of guy, and if she’s rude it’s definitely not going to impress you.”
From Five of CC: “Be a high value man with options. You need to be the one who screens and qualifies them. Don’t accept low-level behavior from a woman.”
From Mystery to Style on hoop theory: “If a woman throws a hoop at you, you catch it and throw one of your own back at her. Everytime she invests, you give her an indicator of interest, every time she refuses, you act like you aren’t interested in her anymore.”
Thank you Hoop Girl; you finally awoken the high value male in me. You taught me how to be a dominant guy with your inane amount of shit tests and hoops.
The very next day, I started up conversation with this girl. The interaction went just like how it always had -- her either saying not much or just throwing out shit at me. I continued to play around like I always had, went for some sort of close and got a hoop as expected.
Instead of falling in, I mirrored the hoop and said the same thing back to her. “I’m kind of busy,” she said, “If you want to talk to me you can wait a while and I might be on later.” So I said the same thing right back to her. “Yeah, same here. If you want to wait also, I’ll be on later.” She gave a weird response, like “Uh, okay.” I smiled :-). She jumped into my hoop (even if it was subconscious on her part).
Next several interactions were the same, every time I got a hoop, I mirrored it and threw the same thing back at her. “I’m really not into the dating scene,” she said. “I’d rather do coffee or something.” “Same, here. I’m really not big into dating either. I’d rather do coffee as well. That’s easy enough, right?” “Yeah, it is,” she said. “Great, maybe I’ll get around to asking you out some time.” “Lol, sometime?” she said. I smiled and left her with hope.
This went on for a while, and pretty soon she started falling into a lot of ‘hoops’ I had set for her. It was hella funny; sometimes she’d catch on to what I was doing, and then try to out hoop me, only to fall into a bigger hoop I’d set for her. It reminded me of what Askmen.com had said about how to be more of a dominant man in the bedroom. “If a girl tries to dominate you in the bedroom, you flip her over, dominantly grab her hands, and tell her “I’m the one in charge here.” She’ll squirm but squirm with delight that she’s about to lose control.”
I think that a lot of girls who say they secretly want to be dominated are hardcore screeners/shit testers. They test guys out all the time by going on dates, getting into clubs for free, guys buying them shit -- but most of the time they just meet a bunch of supplicating chodes who fall into whatever junk they throw at them. These guys aren’t leading the interaction, they’re just following the interaction. The girl is the one leading by throwing out the obstacles. In a sense, she’s the one dominating the interaction, and chode dudes are just falling in hoping to get some pussy out of it. This tells her largely what the guy might be like in the bedroom too -- she’ll probably be the one trying her hardest to have a good fuck, and the guy will just stand around trying to figure out what to do or say next to ‘please her’.
I told this theory to my wing girl, Jane, who couldn’t agree more completely. “YES, thank you. This is the best explanation ever dude. You don’t know how many times I get pissed off when some guy asks me ‘what he should do’ next when he’s trying to fuck me. YOU’RE the dude. YOU need to be leading, not me.”
In order to be that guy she really wants to drop everything and run after, you need to be throwing out hoops of your own. If a hot girl comes up to you in a bar, you tell her to ‘buy you a drink’. If she says ‘you can date me next weekend’, you tell her ‘you can date me next month’ and smile about it. It’s a bullshit challenge, but she’ll laugh that you made her work a little to get closer to you and will feel more attracted as a result. It tells her what kind of man you might be in the bedroom later.
A few more conversations like this, and I finally had Hoop girl back in super attracted mode. No longer was she attracted to me because I was being a ‘dancing monkey’ but because I was also piquing her interest by being a challenge and playfully dominating the conversation by mirroring her hoops and pretending to screen her. I could tell because she’d start up conversation on her own and would want to know what I was up to at random times. This made me happy.
The last real challenge came when the weekend had finally come and I asked for the day2 at night. She resisted saying “I can’t make it, I’m really busy with work all day. Maybe next weekend though for sure.” So I said to her “Ah, I’ll be busy next weekend, so you’re better off trying to make it happen this weekend lol.” A few more playful banter and she started to say “Well, maybe tonight, not sure but I’ll text you.” I wrote “sounds good :-)” (reward). Later that night she did text me (investment) and said “Want to meet up?” I rewarded her by saying “Sure!”. “Okay, meet by 10pm”, she said. “Okay,” I said.
An hour before the meetup, she sent another text “Oh, I’m sorry another friend came in from SF tonight to see me, so I’m going to go out with him instead.” Oh man, that was when I was like “WTF... this girl is too much.”
I could either supplicate and be like “Oh it’s okay, hang out with the other guy instead..”, or take charge and be alpha, high value man. So I made it clear to her I didn’t like the rude behavior.
“Wow. Do what you gotta do then. Disappointed.”
She wrote back:
“Screw it, let’s meet :-)”
(A-ha, you feel guilty don’t you. I’m gonna be even more high value man on you now.)
I write: “Let’s be honest with each other though, ‘cause I don’t like wasting my time. I think you are pretty cool, and very pretty but don’t want to meet you if you just want to string me along a lot. I am willing to make the drive and see you ‘cause I like you. But I just want to know if you feel the same way or are playing games? Be honest.”
Pretty big hoop there right? If she jumped though, I’d know her attraction to me from all this time was solid. If not, no big deal -- I’d learned enough to take my game to new levels from this point onwards. I also wasn’t even that attracted to her anymore -- her personality seemed really annoying.
She jumped. Solid attraction.
“I’m not playing games”
I wrote: “Promise?”
“Yeah, I promise. I’ll see you there soon.”
Finally got my day2 out of this retarded girl. The date went pretty well too, it was just like our chat conversation -- more hoops from both sides; playful banter -- none of that dynamic changed at all. She also seemed kinda unaffected in her frame from everything that happened up til now; she continued to act as high value as she always had -- but because I was able to keep up in terms of being high value myself -- she and I had a fun time together.
“To be honest I hate wearing the pants in a relationship,” she said. “That’s why I give so much shit to guys I think -- but believe it or not, you’re the only guy I chose to see this week. That should tell you a lot.”
I laughed to myself -- man this girl’s ego is so huge. I realized that this would be the course of our interaction for as long as the relationship went on. Did I want this long term? I dunno.. it’s good experience. I gave her a kiss at the end, she was cool, we made plans to hang out again.. and I continued to mirror and leave her hanging. A week later into the relationship, things are still the same but she continues to talk to me and invest. She’s become a lot more helpful though, I think she really is a busy person (she’s doing her PhD) but she spends time with me once a night or so to just help me out with applications for jobs and stuff. It’s pretty cool. Do I think it’s better than having lots of sex with easier chicks? Probably not, but we’ll see how it compares long run. For now, I have my hard chick on one side of the fence and my easy chicks on the other -- so no matter what I continue to learn and get laid.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
I think every guy needs to challenge a girl in some way with hoops of his own. This is like a basic requirement if you want to get laid. If you can’t make a girl do stuff for you, she won’t give a shit about you and you’ll always be in friend zone. To me this is one of the biggest DHVs you can show a girl -- it shows you can be creative, you can lead, you probably have options to be able to say something like that, and that you are probably high value -- especially if you dress and look the part as well. If you want to game the higher level girls, you need to be able to play hoops with her.
A side note though, if she is investing back and jumping in your hoops -- reward her for it. Even if she doesn’t jump through a large hoop, the fact she jumped through a ‘hoop’ is pretty good. Reward her with more conversation, more of your time, while continuing to still be playful and set up more playful challenges. If you get upset that she didn’t jump through some large hoop you set, you blow out. A good strategy to playing hoops is to mirror whatever hoop she says and throw it back at her. You might even want to add a slighter level of ridiculousness to make it seem absurd and funny -- like you didn’t take what she said to be serious, neither should she.
The more she can see that you are able to play her game, the more she realizes ‘you’re in’ and ‘you get what girls want’ - which makes her attracted to you on a deeper, sexual level. You want that.. you want her to be fantasizing about you dominating her in bed and getting herself off. The more she imagines that, the more she’ll be prone to fucking you. I think this is how I was able to get the other rich girl to come over from a long 1 hour drive from Glendale to Long Beach just to fuck -- and the very next day have another Indian chick all over me wanting to fuck too. Let ‘em know you can play the qualification game and pretty soon you’ll have chicks turning down all their other friends and plans just so they can see you.
I’ve been sort of dreading to write about this experience, because it’s gone on so long that I feared I’d have to break down every last chat, phone call, day2 experience and roll it all up into some 20 page disasterpiece, lol. Still, I feel it’s important to talk about because it’s also one of the best experiences I’ve had to date. I will do my best to try to condense this report as much as I can.
I opened this girl by asking her a question about her profile; it said “Ask me if you want to know” under the ‘most private thing you’re willing to admit’.
So I posed the question, “What’s the most private thing you’ve ever done?”
She responded back with “Well, it doesn’t say most private thing you’ve ever done. For that you’d need to be at least ‘friends’ with me to know. But as far as private thing I’m willing to admit; I like to be dominated. Btw, your profile is quite smug.”
When I read that message, I was like -- “WOAH HELL YA! She likes domination! She might be DTF, and this could be another easy lay” in my mind. I started chatting with her online because I saw the chat bubble was up, to see if I could close that sucker. She looked hella hot in her picture.
However, she was anything BUT easy. The moment we started talking, and I started to flirt -- that was when she started to be super sarcastic and somewhat even short in conversation. It’s like she didn’t even want to talk to me. So I switched to being funny and whatever response she threw out at me, I threw back something witty and funny. I also took none of the interaction seriously -- expecting a blowout at some point. Yet the conversation continued to go on and on.
After a while, she stopped being sarcastic and instead gave me a compliment. “You are funny, and I like that.”
Awesome, I thought to myself. Maybe I should go for the close now. I asked her for her number and a possible day2. I got her number. Then she threw me the hoop.
“However, I won’t be able to go out this week,” she said. “You can try for next weekend, that’s when I’m probably free.”
(Ugh.. next weekend? I thought to myself.) In my experience with online dating -- if you wait a week or longer on the first meetup with a woman, she’ll more or less forget who you are. Mainly because you’re a dude she met ‘online’. There are so many other guys hitting on her daily, that even if you made her laugh and got her number -- she probably did that for seven other guys (and girls these days). Factor this with the fact she’s in college, going to UCLA -- one of the most hip schools in the country, probably meets plenty of cool people in real life already -- and then you know -- waiting a week to see her is a genuinely bad idea. As we know BT is easily transferable - so if I made her feel good now and later some one else comes along and capitalizes on it -- that’s it for me, man. You gotta act while the iron is hot with these things.
Yet, there was no way I could act on it. She was no go at hanging out this week. I felt that I might as well just keep some contact with her thru text or chat, but move on to other girls -- because otherwise I’d start chasing her, which would not be good.
So I left her alone, went about gaming other chicks and setting up day2s. But for some reason, I couldn’t get my mind off this girl. I liked her a lot -- how the hell could I get her, I thought to myself? I felt that as a PUA, I should know -- it’s not enough to be able to say I can game some types of girls into bed with me; I feel like I should know how to game all types of girls into bed. Especially the intelligent college girl types that are ultra hot and in high demand.
The next day, I went online and saw she was available. I tried to start conversation, but she didn’t respond on chat -- so I just wrote “ah well, just seeing if you were there. I’ll talk to you later.” 4 hours later, she responded back saying “Hey.”
I was online at that time, so I wrote back and started asking her about her day, and talking about what I was up to. She listened, but gave very short responses. “Oh, cool.” “Haha, I see.” “Interesting.”
Nothing was hitting. I tried to be funny again, and it got some laughs, “Hahaha”, or “That’s pretty funny”, but nothing was really making her stop what she was doing and put some of her own conversation forward. I decided to give up and do something else. “Talk to you later I said.” At least that way, I’d made some conversation with her and I could keep in contact until the weekend when maybe I could try to call her up and set up the next day2. If I talked about meeting up again right now, it’d seem needy -- so all I’d do at this point was just make ‘conversation’ to build comfort. No outcome seeking here -- just plain good ‘ol comfort. I figured I could build my 7 hours of comfort starting now and by the weekend she’d be down to meet.
I messaged her another day, talked to her about things I did in my day -- and of course she didn’t respond til a few hours later. She told me that she was quite busy with homework and that she really didn’t have time to make conversation -- and apologized to me for it. She told me if that bothered me that I should probably find someone else. In that moment, I supplicated and told her “It’s okay, no big deal,” and continued trying to make conversation until it also died out. She would go on and offline, and sometimes if I said something to her, I’d get zero reaction. I’d have to start up new threads again and hope something would hit, or there’d be periods of dead silence.
The day my friend Sifu came to visit, I got a little balsy and tried to call her up to see what she was up to. She didn’t answer. I think it was Valentine’s Day, so I just said to her that I wanted to make some small talk on voicemail, being that I thought she was really cute and it being Valentine’s Day.
She didn’t call back, but she left me a chat message saying “Thanks for the message. It was sweet of you.” I was wondering why she didn’t call back to just say that. So I asked her. “It’s hard to get me by phone,” she said. “I rarely have time to answer. You’ll be lucky to catch me if I do.”
More shit... another fucking hoop. I didn’t realize it at the time, instead I just fell into the hoop and said “It’s all good, just wanted to wish you a Happy Valentines”. Another day wasted, no real emotional connections being built here -- just more superficial junk going back and forth. As far as I’m concerned, she could have been laughing her ass off on the other side -- who knows how many guys called to wish her a Happy Valentine’s day. This girl was starting to remind me of why I felt so frustrated coming into pickup. It sucked, I felt like I was gaming another ghost of my past -- a girl who I’d wasted almost a year chasing until I finally got friend zoned by her, and now here I was doing it all over again. Yet I needed to figure out what to do -- or I’d go mad that two years later into pickup, I still didn’t have the skill to get the girls I really wanted, just a bunch of drunks in a club. Would that be my life?
The next day, I gathered courage and tried to run funny stuff again. It hit! For some reason, she was more playful and so we got into some witty banter. I began complimenting her and saying she was super hot; how I wanted to slam her against the wall and make out with her. Even though she was turned on, she gave a lot of shit. “Sounds creepy. I dunno if I’d let you do that. :-) Maybe you can take me to dinner first.” So I tried to set up the day2 again, but she continued to play the ‘busy’ card.
“I dunno what I’m doing this weekend”, she said. “I’m going out with a couple other friends, one of my guy friends is coming into town, so I’ll have to see him. Maybe I might have a couple hours to see you after 10pm on on Sunday night. You let me know if that’s okay.”
All this shit.. I thought to myself. She’s so playing me. She’s either a hell of a player, or she’s really just that busy. How do I turn this around? I went back and re-read all the chats I had with her -- every last single one I had was saved on my Google and OKC chats. USE THAT shit to your advantage fellas.
It was then I started to see the pattern. For the most part, I’d run my basic game which consists of situational observations or cold reading, along with playfulness and then compliments. When I’d get to the compliments part, that was when I’d get the first signs of shit.
“How many other girls have you said that to?” “Does it get tiring running the same stuff on tons of girls on here, only to get rejected and having to go back to square one with a different girl?” (Lol, that one kinda hurt my fake ego). When I’d ignore and continue stacking, she’d see that I was unaffected and start to warm up a bit; where I’d ask for a close. It was when I asked for a close, I’d get some sort of ‘bait’, but then also a big GIANT hoop.
It was almost like this girl was saying to me “SURE, I’ll give you the close, if you jump this huge giant Grand Canyon for me. Haha, see here it is! **Swing swing swing** My phone number!! A date with me!! Want it?? HERE!! TAKE IT IF YOU CAN!! **Swing Swing Swing**”
This was where I finally started to feel the advice of several of my wings and teachers kick in...
From my friend, Sifu, “If you can see past her beauty man, she aint nothing. Women are always trying to put themselves on pedestals so they can make their way up the ladder of society. Our society teaches women from early on, that if you look pretty, you can get into clubs for free, guys will buy you nice shit, you can be a rude bitch and everyone will forgive you because you’re hot. Don’t be a fucking pussy man and buy into that bullshit. If a woman realizes you see her for what she really is, she’ll realize real fast that you are a different kind of guy, and if she’s rude it’s definitely not going to impress you.”
From Five of CC: “Be a high value man with options. You need to be the one who screens and qualifies them. Don’t accept low-level behavior from a woman.”
From Mystery to Style on hoop theory: “If a woman throws a hoop at you, you catch it and throw one of your own back at her. Everytime she invests, you give her an indicator of interest, every time she refuses, you act like you aren’t interested in her anymore.”
Thank you Hoop Girl; you finally awoken the high value male in me. You taught me how to be a dominant guy with your inane amount of shit tests and hoops.
The very next day, I started up conversation with this girl. The interaction went just like how it always had -- her either saying not much or just throwing out shit at me. I continued to play around like I always had, went for some sort of close and got a hoop as expected.
Instead of falling in, I mirrored the hoop and said the same thing back to her. “I’m kind of busy,” she said, “If you want to talk to me you can wait a while and I might be on later.” So I said the same thing right back to her. “Yeah, same here. If you want to wait also, I’ll be on later.” She gave a weird response, like “Uh, okay.” I smiled :-). She jumped into my hoop (even if it was subconscious on her part).
Next several interactions were the same, every time I got a hoop, I mirrored it and threw the same thing back at her. “I’m really not into the dating scene,” she said. “I’d rather do coffee or something.” “Same, here. I’m really not big into dating either. I’d rather do coffee as well. That’s easy enough, right?” “Yeah, it is,” she said. “Great, maybe I’ll get around to asking you out some time.” “Lol, sometime?” she said. I smiled and left her with hope.
This went on for a while, and pretty soon she started falling into a lot of ‘hoops’ I had set for her. It was hella funny; sometimes she’d catch on to what I was doing, and then try to out hoop me, only to fall into a bigger hoop I’d set for her. It reminded me of what Askmen.com had said about how to be more of a dominant man in the bedroom. “If a girl tries to dominate you in the bedroom, you flip her over, dominantly grab her hands, and tell her “I’m the one in charge here.” She’ll squirm but squirm with delight that she’s about to lose control.”
I think that a lot of girls who say they secretly want to be dominated are hardcore screeners/shit testers. They test guys out all the time by going on dates, getting into clubs for free, guys buying them shit -- but most of the time they just meet a bunch of supplicating chodes who fall into whatever junk they throw at them. These guys aren’t leading the interaction, they’re just following the interaction. The girl is the one leading by throwing out the obstacles. In a sense, she’s the one dominating the interaction, and chode dudes are just falling in hoping to get some pussy out of it. This tells her largely what the guy might be like in the bedroom too -- she’ll probably be the one trying her hardest to have a good fuck, and the guy will just stand around trying to figure out what to do or say next to ‘please her’.
I told this theory to my wing girl, Jane, who couldn’t agree more completely. “YES, thank you. This is the best explanation ever dude. You don’t know how many times I get pissed off when some guy asks me ‘what he should do’ next when he’s trying to fuck me. YOU’RE the dude. YOU need to be leading, not me.”
In order to be that guy she really wants to drop everything and run after, you need to be throwing out hoops of your own. If a hot girl comes up to you in a bar, you tell her to ‘buy you a drink’. If she says ‘you can date me next weekend’, you tell her ‘you can date me next month’ and smile about it. It’s a bullshit challenge, but she’ll laugh that you made her work a little to get closer to you and will feel more attracted as a result. It tells her what kind of man you might be in the bedroom later.
A few more conversations like this, and I finally had Hoop girl back in super attracted mode. No longer was she attracted to me because I was being a ‘dancing monkey’ but because I was also piquing her interest by being a challenge and playfully dominating the conversation by mirroring her hoops and pretending to screen her. I could tell because she’d start up conversation on her own and would want to know what I was up to at random times. This made me happy.
The last real challenge came when the weekend had finally come and I asked for the day2 at night. She resisted saying “I can’t make it, I’m really busy with work all day. Maybe next weekend though for sure.” So I said to her “Ah, I’ll be busy next weekend, so you’re better off trying to make it happen this weekend lol.” A few more playful banter and she started to say “Well, maybe tonight, not sure but I’ll text you.” I wrote “sounds good :-)” (reward). Later that night she did text me (investment) and said “Want to meet up?” I rewarded her by saying “Sure!”. “Okay, meet by 10pm”, she said. “Okay,” I said.
An hour before the meetup, she sent another text “Oh, I’m sorry another friend came in from SF tonight to see me, so I’m going to go out with him instead.” Oh man, that was when I was like “WTF... this girl is too much.”
I could either supplicate and be like “Oh it’s okay, hang out with the other guy instead..”, or take charge and be alpha, high value man. So I made it clear to her I didn’t like the rude behavior.
“Wow. Do what you gotta do then. Disappointed.”
She wrote back:
“Screw it, let’s meet :-)”
(A-ha, you feel guilty don’t you. I’m gonna be even more high value man on you now.)
I write: “Let’s be honest with each other though, ‘cause I don’t like wasting my time. I think you are pretty cool, and very pretty but don’t want to meet you if you just want to string me along a lot. I am willing to make the drive and see you ‘cause I like you. But I just want to know if you feel the same way or are playing games? Be honest.”
Pretty big hoop there right? If she jumped though, I’d know her attraction to me from all this time was solid. If not, no big deal -- I’d learned enough to take my game to new levels from this point onwards. I also wasn’t even that attracted to her anymore -- her personality seemed really annoying.
She jumped. Solid attraction.
“I’m not playing games”
I wrote: “Promise?”
“Yeah, I promise. I’ll see you there soon.”
Finally got my day2 out of this retarded girl. The date went pretty well too, it was just like our chat conversation -- more hoops from both sides; playful banter -- none of that dynamic changed at all. She also seemed kinda unaffected in her frame from everything that happened up til now; she continued to act as high value as she always had -- but because I was able to keep up in terms of being high value myself -- she and I had a fun time together.
“To be honest I hate wearing the pants in a relationship,” she said. “That’s why I give so much shit to guys I think -- but believe it or not, you’re the only guy I chose to see this week. That should tell you a lot.”
I laughed to myself -- man this girl’s ego is so huge. I realized that this would be the course of our interaction for as long as the relationship went on. Did I want this long term? I dunno.. it’s good experience. I gave her a kiss at the end, she was cool, we made plans to hang out again.. and I continued to mirror and leave her hanging. A week later into the relationship, things are still the same but she continues to talk to me and invest. She’s become a lot more helpful though, I think she really is a busy person (she’s doing her PhD) but she spends time with me once a night or so to just help me out with applications for jobs and stuff. It’s pretty cool. Do I think it’s better than having lots of sex with easier chicks? Probably not, but we’ll see how it compares long run. For now, I have my hard chick on one side of the fence and my easy chicks on the other -- so no matter what I continue to learn and get laid.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
I think every guy needs to challenge a girl in some way with hoops of his own. This is like a basic requirement if you want to get laid. If you can’t make a girl do stuff for you, she won’t give a shit about you and you’ll always be in friend zone. To me this is one of the biggest DHVs you can show a girl -- it shows you can be creative, you can lead, you probably have options to be able to say something like that, and that you are probably high value -- especially if you dress and look the part as well. If you want to game the higher level girls, you need to be able to play hoops with her.
A side note though, if she is investing back and jumping in your hoops -- reward her for it. Even if she doesn’t jump through a large hoop, the fact she jumped through a ‘hoop’ is pretty good. Reward her with more conversation, more of your time, while continuing to still be playful and set up more playful challenges. If you get upset that she didn’t jump through some large hoop you set, you blow out. A good strategy to playing hoops is to mirror whatever hoop she says and throw it back at her. You might even want to add a slighter level of ridiculousness to make it seem absurd and funny -- like you didn’t take what she said to be serious, neither should she.
The more she can see that you are able to play her game, the more she realizes ‘you’re in’ and ‘you get what girls want’ - which makes her attracted to you on a deeper, sexual level. You want that.. you want her to be fantasizing about you dominating her in bed and getting herself off. The more she imagines that, the more she’ll be prone to fucking you. I think this is how I was able to get the other rich girl to come over from a long 1 hour drive from Glendale to Long Beach just to fuck -- and the very next day have another Indian chick all over me wanting to fuck too. Let ‘em know you can play the qualification game and pretty soon you’ll have chicks turning down all their other friends and plans just so they can see you.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
FR - Mercedes Girl (almost LR but she was on her period) 2-18-11
Well, gamed another chick from OKC into the bedroom :-). We pretty much did everything except for penetration 'cause she was on the rag, hence I didn't title this report an LR. Maybe I could get away with titling it an L 1/2 R.
It was a beautiful thing too man, I got her to drive out to see me (like Five Stenson suggested) after hardcore screening and playful banter. It was funny, I felt like that guy Finch from American Pie meeting with Stifler's mom when she drove up in her freaking Mercedes SLK300 Roadster with tinted windows and wearing sunglasses.
She even paid for a bottle of Hennesy ($40), which of course we killed together and got our freak on with. I guess maybe I've got a talent for picking up chicks with money -- I could probably get away with the whole looking for a sugar mama routine if I tried huh? I do need money anyway -- I'm a freaking unemployed bum at this point loll. Dirty ol' Cloud
As far as the breakdown, here's how it went. I opened her kinda situational online, we got some playful banter established mainly around the fact she was half Indian, half Asian (I had never met one before). I called her purtty - which seems to work well for me; anytime I give a girl a compliment, I spell it wrong with more consonants or vowels just to make it read cuter. Saying "you're hot" is kinda lame - every girl hears that. Dragging out the sound of the compliment seems to make it resonate more in their mind.
After a few chats, got her number, then started texting her. She actually did more texting than me though; I had my hands full with several other girls at the same time -- so it was kinda fun to see all the investment on her side. At first, we were talking about our favorite things to do - very platonic conversation -- then one night I decided to send a drunk text and see how she'd react. I told her "I wanted to kiss a girl, could I kiss her?" She reacted in a funny way -- "WHAT? Obviously not silly!! Are you drunk?" I didn't reply till the next day and said "Haha yah, had a few drinks last night."
What I did there was give her the idea of being kissed, then took it away so she would start thinking about being kissed, in all our future conversations. I continued to talk to her normally through text, but after a few more days of text we were starting to refer to each other by pet names like cutie and sweetie. I knew the girl was DTF, so I wanted to test it even further to see if she would drive out to act on her intention. That way I wouldn't have to be clowned later for driving 40 min to Santa Monica like last time :P lol jk.
Originally she asked me to come visit her, she hates driving. I kind of agreed with her, but the plan seemed kinda lame -- meet at a restaurant. However, the more flirtatious we got in conversation, the more creative I decided to get. At one point when we were trying to decide the day and time, I just said to her point blank "So what time do you usually get done with work? Maybe we can just fool around for a bit :-)"
She went nuts in text. "What! I don't do that on a first date! JESUS lol".
So I said, "Lol, just wanted to say that to see how you'd react."
She said, "Yeah right, you pervert! JEEZ!"
"Haha just checking, you never know what some girls are like under the sweet personality and good looks."
"So you're telling me you were just checking to see if I was a whore? Yea right! What if I said yeah, sure let's just fool around? What would you have said?"
"I dunno, I'd have been like lol omg"
"Omg yay! Or omg got to hit that and run. Or omg I gotta to run! BE HONEST OR ELSE!"
"Why run? You seem like a catch. Just being honest there. If you were a bitch, Id run. Anyway I was just being silly, it's only a first date, don't get ahead of yourself :-)"
"Ahead of myself? You were the one getting ahead of yourself! Freakin dork lol. You're the one who wanted to get in my pants already dork!"
So I say, "Hmm, you're really sensitive aren't you. I shouldn't joke around like that from now :-/ Sorry." (I said it this way because I had already given her the thought of meeting up to maybe fool around and then taken it away from her now by just being boring. I was just testing to see how much she wanted to fuck.) Sure enough..
"Hahaha I was just joking. I'm not too sensitive, just a girl and don't be sorry."
"Alright, I guess I was just being a guy too lol."
Stack forward, with finding out availability. We're still talking about meeting up in Glendale, until a few texts later -- she asks me how the weather is in Long Beach (A-ha! She's thinking about 'it'.) She wants to know what we'd do there if she came out.
"How's the weather there so I know not to dress too slutty lol jk", she says.
So I tell her about the pier and all the cool stuff nearby. She changes her mind and says she'll come down. We set up a time. AWESOME. Dude, it was FUCKING raining, the day of the meetup and she drove 1 hour 20 min to see me.
There WAS NO DATE. She just wanted to come over and get fucked. I guess the theory of girls wanting sex more than guys really held true in this case -- if they feel like they can get it without being judged in a bar or by their friends, on a no strings attached basis -- they will make the investment. All I did was turn on the Comedy Channel when she came, we watched that for a bit, got some liquor from the liquor store right after in her car, killed the bottle, made out, played with her tits, she gave me a handjob, I went for the pussy, she gave me resistance -- so I went back to making out, tried again, got more resistance until she finally told me she was on the 'rag' but was dying to fuck. Anyway, we were a big mess, biting each other and wrestling a ton… she was pretty hot too. HB7 for sure.
We watched some movies after that, just cuddled up, then she had to get back so I bid her well; we made-out some more, made plans for another day, then she drove off in her Roadster. FUCKKK, I want one now too. This whole report made me feel embarrassed at myself -- I've become such a loafer who just fucks rich women, but has no job of my own. My parents would KILL me if they knew what I was up to. Hahaha. Ah well, it's a fucking skill -- whenever I go back to being 9-5 corporate tool, I'm pretty sure it'll be from a place of wanting to actually do that shit for myself rather than trying to impress girls like I was trying so hard to when I first started out.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
Girls really want to get laid. If you're able to elicit that you're a high value man who doesn't need to chase, but can suggest ideas that make her think about a potential fuck fest without fear of being called a slut; they'll be more than willing to make the investment. The key is being high value though -- you need to be throwing out hoops to her and getting her to bite down. If she's always throwing the hoops at you, and you're jumping in 'em, you're just proving to her that you have no other options in your life -- you might be a loser, and you're just chasing outcome - you just really want to get in her pants.
The main difference between being a high value man and a low value man is that even though both want to have sex, the high value dude puts it out there without worry it'll happen or not. The low value man worries all the time if it'll happen. This is the basic premise; in addition to all this, high value guys still are very flirtatious, charming, attractive, gentleman like -- similar to what a low value guy could do, but they don't chase at all. If they get an outcome, they are content with it, if not they move on with more options to choose from. I almost look at it too that girls use 'hoops' as a way of checking to see if you can lead or be dominant with them in the bedroom as well as life. Most girls will say they like to be 'dominated' and feel like the girl at the end of the day. If you're falling into hoops and supplicating to them, the girl realizes she's being the dominant one, not you the guy -- and it's a turn off to her. In order to be dominant, you have to take control, and if she's throwing a hoop, you throw one back at her -- just like a simulation in the bedroom -- if she wrestles you down, you flip her over and wrestle her down instead. You pull her hands behind her and make-out; maybe wall slam. That's domination, and she feels really good for it. I know my girl did. Keep up the practice, and pretty soon girls will just know right away whether you're a hot guy they want to fuck or just another supplicating chide who they want to get the fuck away from.
It was a beautiful thing too man, I got her to drive out to see me (like Five Stenson suggested) after hardcore screening and playful banter. It was funny, I felt like that guy Finch from American Pie meeting with Stifler's mom when she drove up in her freaking Mercedes SLK300 Roadster with tinted windows and wearing sunglasses.
She even paid for a bottle of Hennesy ($40), which of course we killed together and got our freak on with. I guess maybe I've got a talent for picking up chicks with money -- I could probably get away with the whole looking for a sugar mama routine if I tried huh? I do need money anyway -- I'm a freaking unemployed bum at this point loll. Dirty ol' Cloud
As far as the breakdown, here's how it went. I opened her kinda situational online, we got some playful banter established mainly around the fact she was half Indian, half Asian (I had never met one before). I called her purtty - which seems to work well for me; anytime I give a girl a compliment, I spell it wrong with more consonants or vowels just to make it read cuter. Saying "you're hot" is kinda lame - every girl hears that. Dragging out the sound of the compliment seems to make it resonate more in their mind.
After a few chats, got her number, then started texting her. She actually did more texting than me though; I had my hands full with several other girls at the same time -- so it was kinda fun to see all the investment on her side. At first, we were talking about our favorite things to do - very platonic conversation -- then one night I decided to send a drunk text and see how she'd react. I told her "I wanted to kiss a girl, could I kiss her?" She reacted in a funny way -- "WHAT? Obviously not silly!! Are you drunk?" I didn't reply till the next day and said "Haha yah, had a few drinks last night."
What I did there was give her the idea of being kissed, then took it away so she would start thinking about being kissed, in all our future conversations. I continued to talk to her normally through text, but after a few more days of text we were starting to refer to each other by pet names like cutie and sweetie. I knew the girl was DTF, so I wanted to test it even further to see if she would drive out to act on her intention. That way I wouldn't have to be clowned later for driving 40 min to Santa Monica like last time :P lol jk.
Originally she asked me to come visit her, she hates driving. I kind of agreed with her, but the plan seemed kinda lame -- meet at a restaurant. However, the more flirtatious we got in conversation, the more creative I decided to get. At one point when we were trying to decide the day and time, I just said to her point blank "So what time do you usually get done with work? Maybe we can just fool around for a bit :-)"
She went nuts in text. "What! I don't do that on a first date! JESUS lol".
So I said, "Lol, just wanted to say that to see how you'd react."
She said, "Yeah right, you pervert! JEEZ!"
"Haha just checking, you never know what some girls are like under the sweet personality and good looks."
"So you're telling me you were just checking to see if I was a whore? Yea right! What if I said yeah, sure let's just fool around? What would you have said?"
"I dunno, I'd have been like lol omg"
"Omg yay! Or omg got to hit that and run. Or omg I gotta to run! BE HONEST OR ELSE!"
"Why run? You seem like a catch. Just being honest there. If you were a bitch, Id run. Anyway I was just being silly, it's only a first date, don't get ahead of yourself :-)"
"Ahead of myself? You were the one getting ahead of yourself! Freakin dork lol. You're the one who wanted to get in my pants already dork!"
So I say, "Hmm, you're really sensitive aren't you. I shouldn't joke around like that from now :-/ Sorry." (I said it this way because I had already given her the thought of meeting up to maybe fool around and then taken it away from her now by just being boring. I was just testing to see how much she wanted to fuck.) Sure enough..
"Hahaha I was just joking. I'm not too sensitive, just a girl and don't be sorry."
"Alright, I guess I was just being a guy too lol."
Stack forward, with finding out availability. We're still talking about meeting up in Glendale, until a few texts later -- she asks me how the weather is in Long Beach (A-ha! She's thinking about 'it'.) She wants to know what we'd do there if she came out.
"How's the weather there so I know not to dress too slutty lol jk", she says.
So I tell her about the pier and all the cool stuff nearby. She changes her mind and says she'll come down. We set up a time. AWESOME. Dude, it was FUCKING raining, the day of the meetup and she drove 1 hour 20 min to see me.
There WAS NO DATE. She just wanted to come over and get fucked. I guess the theory of girls wanting sex more than guys really held true in this case -- if they feel like they can get it without being judged in a bar or by their friends, on a no strings attached basis -- they will make the investment. All I did was turn on the Comedy Channel when she came, we watched that for a bit, got some liquor from the liquor store right after in her car, killed the bottle, made out, played with her tits, she gave me a handjob, I went for the pussy, she gave me resistance -- so I went back to making out, tried again, got more resistance until she finally told me she was on the 'rag' but was dying to fuck. Anyway, we were a big mess, biting each other and wrestling a ton… she was pretty hot too. HB7 for sure.
We watched some movies after that, just cuddled up, then she had to get back so I bid her well; we made-out some more, made plans for another day, then she drove off in her Roadster. FUCKKK, I want one now too. This whole report made me feel embarrassed at myself -- I've become such a loafer who just fucks rich women, but has no job of my own. My parents would KILL me if they knew what I was up to. Hahaha. Ah well, it's a fucking skill -- whenever I go back to being 9-5 corporate tool, I'm pretty sure it'll be from a place of wanting to actually do that shit for myself rather than trying to impress girls like I was trying so hard to when I first started out.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
Girls really want to get laid. If you're able to elicit that you're a high value man who doesn't need to chase, but can suggest ideas that make her think about a potential fuck fest without fear of being called a slut; they'll be more than willing to make the investment. The key is being high value though -- you need to be throwing out hoops to her and getting her to bite down. If she's always throwing the hoops at you, and you're jumping in 'em, you're just proving to her that you have no other options in your life -- you might be a loser, and you're just chasing outcome - you just really want to get in her pants.
The main difference between being a high value man and a low value man is that even though both want to have sex, the high value dude puts it out there without worry it'll happen or not. The low value man worries all the time if it'll happen. This is the basic premise; in addition to all this, high value guys still are very flirtatious, charming, attractive, gentleman like -- similar to what a low value guy could do, but they don't chase at all. If they get an outcome, they are content with it, if not they move on with more options to choose from. I almost look at it too that girls use 'hoops' as a way of checking to see if you can lead or be dominant with them in the bedroom as well as life. Most girls will say they like to be 'dominated' and feel like the girl at the end of the day. If you're falling into hoops and supplicating to them, the girl realizes she's being the dominant one, not you the guy -- and it's a turn off to her. In order to be dominant, you have to take control, and if she's throwing a hoop, you throw one back at her -- just like a simulation in the bedroom -- if she wrestles you down, you flip her over and wrestle her down instead. You pull her hands behind her and make-out; maybe wall slam. That's domination, and she feels really good for it. I know my girl did. Keep up the practice, and pretty soon girls will just know right away whether you're a hot guy they want to fuck or just another supplicating chide who they want to get the fuck away from.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
FR - Date with the Beer Girl (Makeout at End) 2-16-11
Beer Girl makes it kinda seem lame lol. She’s actually a lot better looking than most of the drunk girls I see at the bar. She’s a 7, and if she got in a little better shape, def could be an 8. Her face is really nice - most Asians are. Her body is also okay, but I’d label her in the average category. Anyway, I call her the beer girl cause she ‘taught me’ how to pour beer correctly when we were having some yesterday. Aside all that, her personality is really cool, and she seems pretty chill altogether.
I found this girl off OKC, just like how I’ve been gaming so far. Messaging her wasn’t too hard, all I said was “You are bootyful!! :D” and I got a reply back. We exchanged a couple emails, with me just focusing on being humorous. (If you are interested in knowing what the full conversation was tho, just send me a PM and I’ll log you into my Google Docs file folder). However, after a while she just went dead and I didn’t hear for almost a week back. I think it was mainly because the last message I sent was too long, so it probably caused her to procrastinate. I followed up again on Valentine’s Day with a quick opener, basically all I did was just email her name with extra vowels at the end and a smiley face.
She responded back and I noticed she was online, so I initiated chat with her. During chat, I was in full gear - super charming, had comebacks for every shit test in a humorous fashion and going through a series of fantasy roleplay. One roleplay that works well for me being Indian is pretending to be an IT guy who is good at tech support for women. I told her I’d fix her ‘computer’ and give her ‘high quality service wink wink wink’. She thought that was funny and told me she really liked Indian food. I framed her as looking good in Indian clothes, which put her in a good mood and wanting me to be her “tech support guy ;-)”. (Maybe I’ll make my OKC profile look like a tech support guy next and play around with the silliness of that idea). I asked her what she was up to, which was nothing -- so I asked her if she would be willing to meet up off the site. She said yes.
I got her number and made plans to see her the following day. Then I realized she lived hella far from me. Fuck, I thought... I did it again; I didn’t check the distance. I didn’t want another drive to Santa Monica, so I asked her via text if she wanted to meet up half-way, maybe like in LA. She was cool with that. Plus, I’d have the advantage, I know most of downtown LA, but I’m not familiar with the Valley and stuff. I have to say, that me choosing a place I know helped A LOT in getting this date to close well.
For the date, I reflected a lot on the last FR I wrote about and the comments that the CC guys had said including Crash and Five Stenson. My main pitfall last time was being too outcome dependent and not acting like a ‘high value male’ with options. To be honest, I think that’s truly what killed me from the get-go. If you guys remember, I told the last girl it was ‘okay if she dressed down’, ‘okay if she was boring’, etc -- “I’d still like her (trying to be the nice guy)”. As a result, she did dress down and was her boring best. She looked ugly. I was turned off, but I still decided to see if I could ‘close’ her and that made the date even worse. I kept throwing out stupid routines and trying to caveman only to creep the shit out of the girl.
This time, I decided let’s start from scratch -- with this new girl, I would dress well for the date. I ditched my typical shirt and jeans attire for dressy shirt, pants and snazzy shoes that actually fit me. I looked like I was going to a high end club. It was weird because I felt a little uncomfortable looking ‘so good’. I’m always dressing down -- I like just being in shorts and sandals for some reason and playing video games. Being ‘model’ hot is not my thing -- but every time I’ve dressed up in the past, everyone has always given me compliments - which I always felt weird getting. I guess I didn’t believe it for the longest time because I never was good with women. It was easier to nerd out and beat 8 bosses on Mega Man, lol.
Anyway, gotta thank my friend Sifu from Arizona for coming out this week and giving me some pointers on how to dress better and screen harder. I also re-read stuff from Five on screening and decided I would adopt a screening mentality for this date -- in order to appear more high value and go along with my ‘dress style’. I briefly chatted with her and told her to look her best. We agreed to meet up in Little Tokyo, an area I know super well. I felt confident though, looking in the mirror, I just rehearsed a few confident lines to myself and went out to see her.
She looked good, I complimented her on that and gave her a hug when we met up. I gave a little bit of touch this time, but decided I wouldn’t be outcome dependent -- I’d just let stuff happen progressively; if I saw buying signs - I’d just act on it. My thought was to just act in a way I’d see her again another day rather than go crazy in one night.
I have to admit, I was a little nervous at the beginning, and we ended up walking in a roundabout way to the place I wanted to take her. I wasn’t even sure what she was saying, but I just kept throwing out questions and answering whatever she was saying to me. We walked into a mom-and-pop restaurant that I didn’t want to go to because it was hella fobby, and the waiters seemed pissed off I kept speaking to them in English. (Well, I could have spoke to them in the J, but didn’t want to be a big show off.. plus this girl had no knowledge of Japan and was kinda white washed Asian). Deciding on food was kinda hard ‘cause she’s vegetarian, so I figured I’d just order something light and go from there. No dinner stuff anyway -- this was a screening place. We got some Asahis and Edamame. It was then I learned she was good at pouring beer because she took an entire bottle of beer and poured it all into her glass perfectly without any fizz or overflow. I, on the other had fucked it up by pouring too fast and having to wait 5 extra minutes to pour the remaining stuff in. She had a good laugh.
“The trick to pouring the beer is to hold the bottle up, tilt it and pour close to the side of the glass; don’t just start pouring anywhere because that will cause it to foam up quickly,” she said. Wow, man.. learn something new everyday. (You pass the screen! lol)
From there on, conversation was pretty good. We talked about OKCupid, our experiences with the site, what our past relationships were like, what we each do, job stuff. At first I tried to flirt super hard with her by teasing her on her profile as well as a few other things -- can’t remember. I think it made her uncomfortable though because I was coming off too strong.
So I began to chill. She was mad qualifying herself to me. I had to qualify myself a couple times just so she could feel okay taking shots back at me. I guess this is probably because I came off so ‘high value’ already to her in appearance, that the flirting was making her get into her head if added laser eyes or something. (You could tell because she kept looking away and rolling her eyes to the top right or left of her face if she was thinking of what to say next. She also finished sentences for me and brought up new threads). So yah, I eased up and just made sure I gave enough conversation back so she felt comfortable. The beer helped a lot too, she can hold a drink pretty well, and we polished off two. I complimented her on that which made her feel like she was winning me over.
We spent about an hour there, then afterwards I noticed she was super cold, so I offered her my arm and we walked arm and arm to the next place. I told her there was a good ramen shop that was perfect for the weather so she agreed to check it out. She really liked the area, and we talked about seeing some other places in LA on the weekend; as she’s not really busy. I told her to drive out to LBC, and showed her a video I took of the pier on my iPhone, which made her really interested in coming. To me, I felt this girl was already way invested in me -- the fact she was willing to drive out from the Valley to downtown LA was a good investment already; despite it being cold and possibly raining.
Made it to the ramen place, which was almost about to close so I held her hand and we ran up the stairs just to the store entrance. It was kinda exhilarating, ‘cause she kept giving me shit it might be closed but it wasn’t :-). The waiter was also really cool, he hooked us up with a private table and got the food right away. So shout outs to Chin Ma Ya -- from a PUA, hella love! Go there if you have a date to take. We continued to drink during happy hour, and soon both of us were laughing that we had to use the bathroom so much. The food was good, after dinner, we just walked outside and I started pulling her towards me as we looked at the view. I just held her, and she would point out stuff, then slowly I just made eye contact with her like I was going to kiss her. She also looked at me thinking I was going to kiss her. Instead I just started kissing her elsewhere to be teasing. I asked her if she was a good kisser, and she said ‘maybe, but I don’t kiss on the first date, lol’. I said ‘oh lol, I see’. So I broke away from her, took her hand and said “We need to check out the rest of the plaza!” teasingly.
Continued holding her hand, no resistance, alternated some times to arm and arm; visited a few more shops down the way to her car, I took some photos of her trying on ‘club sunglasses’ at a Japanese fashion store; then pulled her into me for a hug. During this time, there were lots of obvious signs she wanted to be kissed. She was smiling, making pauses at me, then looking away.. looking back. I kissed her on the head, then the eyes, and she started laughing. I was already close enough to her lips so I just went in. She met me the other half-way. Then she started blushing. “Uh-oh, are we gonna break a rule here?”, I said. She just said “Haha, I shouldn’t be doing this..”, so I just said “Yeah, huh we shouldn’t lol...” and went back in for the next kiss. More kissing. Makeout. I asked her if she had had a great customer service experience from an Indian. Laughing ensued. We talked about hanging out on the weekend and I gave her directions back to her place. She texted me back later saying she had a terrific time.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
This was the way I’ve always wanted to date since like high school... be on a date with a girl who’s really into me and share lots of great moments ending with a memorable kiss. I didn’t try to force the outcome, it just happened naturally -- I did do some prodding, but I think that’s just part of leading -- if you have to push really hard for a kiss, you’re doing something wrong.
Sex will probably come with this chick especially if she comes to my place; which she expressed interest in doing, and I think it’s just more comfort building and sharing good moments like this last date. I’m not going to try to force an LR just so I can write about it - that seems pretty gay. I’d rather write about an LR that happened naturally.
I gotta give props to all the guys who helped me get to this point, I feel really good these days about my game. I’ll probably still make mistakes here and there, but I feel like I have a sense of how to conduct myself around different types of women -- some like it fast, some like it slow. I feel like I can cater to all those needs.. so you guys can start outsourcing women to me ;-).
I feel like the biggest thing I’ve gotten a grasp over in the past few days is qualification game; like there’s another girl I want to write about soon that I met off OKC and will be taking out soon. She’s a hard core shit tester and throws insane hoops at me. At first I was supplicating, but then I quickly started catching on and throwing out some of my own hoops back at her. This made the dynamic way more interesting. Online game has helped my ‘regular game’ out a lot more because I could go back and re-read chat history to see patterns and analyze what worked and what didn’t. This new girl is a girl who likes to be ‘dominated’, and after reading an article on Askmen.com about how to dominate a dominant woman, I was able to formulate a new game plan which helped me act more high value in return. I think gaming this chick along with the advice of everyone was what helped me to make this date with Beer Girl so successful. Anyway, the bottom line is you’ve got to exhibit high value male like qualities and act like you have options if you want to grab the interest of hotter chicks who have tons of options. When you can see past their beauty and screen them hard for personality, you’ll appear different to them because you’re not chasing an outcome, they are.
I found this girl off OKC, just like how I’ve been gaming so far. Messaging her wasn’t too hard, all I said was “You are bootyful!! :D” and I got a reply back. We exchanged a couple emails, with me just focusing on being humorous. (If you are interested in knowing what the full conversation was tho, just send me a PM and I’ll log you into my Google Docs file folder). However, after a while she just went dead and I didn’t hear for almost a week back. I think it was mainly because the last message I sent was too long, so it probably caused her to procrastinate. I followed up again on Valentine’s Day with a quick opener, basically all I did was just email her name with extra vowels at the end and a smiley face.
She responded back and I noticed she was online, so I initiated chat with her. During chat, I was in full gear - super charming, had comebacks for every shit test in a humorous fashion and going through a series of fantasy roleplay. One roleplay that works well for me being Indian is pretending to be an IT guy who is good at tech support for women. I told her I’d fix her ‘computer’ and give her ‘high quality service wink wink wink’. She thought that was funny and told me she really liked Indian food. I framed her as looking good in Indian clothes, which put her in a good mood and wanting me to be her “tech support guy ;-)”. (Maybe I’ll make my OKC profile look like a tech support guy next and play around with the silliness of that idea). I asked her what she was up to, which was nothing -- so I asked her if she would be willing to meet up off the site. She said yes.
I got her number and made plans to see her the following day. Then I realized she lived hella far from me. Fuck, I thought... I did it again; I didn’t check the distance. I didn’t want another drive to Santa Monica, so I asked her via text if she wanted to meet up half-way, maybe like in LA. She was cool with that. Plus, I’d have the advantage, I know most of downtown LA, but I’m not familiar with the Valley and stuff. I have to say, that me choosing a place I know helped A LOT in getting this date to close well.
For the date, I reflected a lot on the last FR I wrote about and the comments that the CC guys had said including Crash and Five Stenson. My main pitfall last time was being too outcome dependent and not acting like a ‘high value male’ with options. To be honest, I think that’s truly what killed me from the get-go. If you guys remember, I told the last girl it was ‘okay if she dressed down’, ‘okay if she was boring’, etc -- “I’d still like her (trying to be the nice guy)”. As a result, she did dress down and was her boring best. She looked ugly. I was turned off, but I still decided to see if I could ‘close’ her and that made the date even worse. I kept throwing out stupid routines and trying to caveman only to creep the shit out of the girl.
This time, I decided let’s start from scratch -- with this new girl, I would dress well for the date. I ditched my typical shirt and jeans attire for dressy shirt, pants and snazzy shoes that actually fit me. I looked like I was going to a high end club. It was weird because I felt a little uncomfortable looking ‘so good’. I’m always dressing down -- I like just being in shorts and sandals for some reason and playing video games. Being ‘model’ hot is not my thing -- but every time I’ve dressed up in the past, everyone has always given me compliments - which I always felt weird getting. I guess I didn’t believe it for the longest time because I never was good with women. It was easier to nerd out and beat 8 bosses on Mega Man, lol.
Anyway, gotta thank my friend Sifu from Arizona for coming out this week and giving me some pointers on how to dress better and screen harder. I also re-read stuff from Five on screening and decided I would adopt a screening mentality for this date -- in order to appear more high value and go along with my ‘dress style’. I briefly chatted with her and told her to look her best. We agreed to meet up in Little Tokyo, an area I know super well. I felt confident though, looking in the mirror, I just rehearsed a few confident lines to myself and went out to see her.
She looked good, I complimented her on that and gave her a hug when we met up. I gave a little bit of touch this time, but decided I wouldn’t be outcome dependent -- I’d just let stuff happen progressively; if I saw buying signs - I’d just act on it. My thought was to just act in a way I’d see her again another day rather than go crazy in one night.
I have to admit, I was a little nervous at the beginning, and we ended up walking in a roundabout way to the place I wanted to take her. I wasn’t even sure what she was saying, but I just kept throwing out questions and answering whatever she was saying to me. We walked into a mom-and-pop restaurant that I didn’t want to go to because it was hella fobby, and the waiters seemed pissed off I kept speaking to them in English. (Well, I could have spoke to them in the J, but didn’t want to be a big show off.. plus this girl had no knowledge of Japan and was kinda white washed Asian). Deciding on food was kinda hard ‘cause she’s vegetarian, so I figured I’d just order something light and go from there. No dinner stuff anyway -- this was a screening place. We got some Asahis and Edamame. It was then I learned she was good at pouring beer because she took an entire bottle of beer and poured it all into her glass perfectly without any fizz or overflow. I, on the other had fucked it up by pouring too fast and having to wait 5 extra minutes to pour the remaining stuff in. She had a good laugh.
“The trick to pouring the beer is to hold the bottle up, tilt it and pour close to the side of the glass; don’t just start pouring anywhere because that will cause it to foam up quickly,” she said. Wow, man.. learn something new everyday. (You pass the screen! lol)
From there on, conversation was pretty good. We talked about OKCupid, our experiences with the site, what our past relationships were like, what we each do, job stuff. At first I tried to flirt super hard with her by teasing her on her profile as well as a few other things -- can’t remember. I think it made her uncomfortable though because I was coming off too strong.
So I began to chill. She was mad qualifying herself to me. I had to qualify myself a couple times just so she could feel okay taking shots back at me. I guess this is probably because I came off so ‘high value’ already to her in appearance, that the flirting was making her get into her head if added laser eyes or something. (You could tell because she kept looking away and rolling her eyes to the top right or left of her face if she was thinking of what to say next. She also finished sentences for me and brought up new threads). So yah, I eased up and just made sure I gave enough conversation back so she felt comfortable. The beer helped a lot too, she can hold a drink pretty well, and we polished off two. I complimented her on that which made her feel like she was winning me over.
We spent about an hour there, then afterwards I noticed she was super cold, so I offered her my arm and we walked arm and arm to the next place. I told her there was a good ramen shop that was perfect for the weather so she agreed to check it out. She really liked the area, and we talked about seeing some other places in LA on the weekend; as she’s not really busy. I told her to drive out to LBC, and showed her a video I took of the pier on my iPhone, which made her really interested in coming. To me, I felt this girl was already way invested in me -- the fact she was willing to drive out from the Valley to downtown LA was a good investment already; despite it being cold and possibly raining.
Made it to the ramen place, which was almost about to close so I held her hand and we ran up the stairs just to the store entrance. It was kinda exhilarating, ‘cause she kept giving me shit it might be closed but it wasn’t :-). The waiter was also really cool, he hooked us up with a private table and got the food right away. So shout outs to Chin Ma Ya -- from a PUA, hella love! Go there if you have a date to take. We continued to drink during happy hour, and soon both of us were laughing that we had to use the bathroom so much. The food was good, after dinner, we just walked outside and I started pulling her towards me as we looked at the view. I just held her, and she would point out stuff, then slowly I just made eye contact with her like I was going to kiss her. She also looked at me thinking I was going to kiss her. Instead I just started kissing her elsewhere to be teasing. I asked her if she was a good kisser, and she said ‘maybe, but I don’t kiss on the first date, lol’. I said ‘oh lol, I see’. So I broke away from her, took her hand and said “We need to check out the rest of the plaza!” teasingly.
Continued holding her hand, no resistance, alternated some times to arm and arm; visited a few more shops down the way to her car, I took some photos of her trying on ‘club sunglasses’ at a Japanese fashion store; then pulled her into me for a hug. During this time, there were lots of obvious signs she wanted to be kissed. She was smiling, making pauses at me, then looking away.. looking back. I kissed her on the head, then the eyes, and she started laughing. I was already close enough to her lips so I just went in. She met me the other half-way. Then she started blushing. “Uh-oh, are we gonna break a rule here?”, I said. She just said “Haha, I shouldn’t be doing this..”, so I just said “Yeah, huh we shouldn’t lol...” and went back in for the next kiss. More kissing. Makeout. I asked her if she had had a great customer service experience from an Indian. Laughing ensued. We talked about hanging out on the weekend and I gave her directions back to her place. She texted me back later saying she had a terrific time.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
This was the way I’ve always wanted to date since like high school... be on a date with a girl who’s really into me and share lots of great moments ending with a memorable kiss. I didn’t try to force the outcome, it just happened naturally -- I did do some prodding, but I think that’s just part of leading -- if you have to push really hard for a kiss, you’re doing something wrong.
Sex will probably come with this chick especially if she comes to my place; which she expressed interest in doing, and I think it’s just more comfort building and sharing good moments like this last date. I’m not going to try to force an LR just so I can write about it - that seems pretty gay. I’d rather write about an LR that happened naturally.
I gotta give props to all the guys who helped me get to this point, I feel really good these days about my game. I’ll probably still make mistakes here and there, but I feel like I have a sense of how to conduct myself around different types of women -- some like it fast, some like it slow. I feel like I can cater to all those needs.. so you guys can start outsourcing women to me ;-).
I feel like the biggest thing I’ve gotten a grasp over in the past few days is qualification game; like there’s another girl I want to write about soon that I met off OKC and will be taking out soon. She’s a hard core shit tester and throws insane hoops at me. At first I was supplicating, but then I quickly started catching on and throwing out some of my own hoops back at her. This made the dynamic way more interesting. Online game has helped my ‘regular game’ out a lot more because I could go back and re-read chat history to see patterns and analyze what worked and what didn’t. This new girl is a girl who likes to be ‘dominated’, and after reading an article on Askmen.com about how to dominate a dominant woman, I was able to formulate a new game plan which helped me act more high value in return. I think gaming this chick along with the advice of everyone was what helped me to make this date with Beer Girl so successful. Anyway, the bottom line is you’ve got to exhibit high value male like qualities and act like you have options if you want to grab the interest of hotter chicks who have tons of options. When you can see past their beauty and screen them hard for personality, you’ll appear different to them because you’re not chasing an outcome, they are.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Advice from Sifu 2-14-11
Had a couple beers with my friend from AZ who came down to visit. Got some valuable life lessons from a true alpha who has choice and lots of lays in his life.
- 1st off dress better than a woman (ALWAYS). It elicits you are high value and that you have options. Pay attention to detail - women are 100x more perceptive about this and associate good clothes with high value.
- "If a woman asks you if you're 'gay', she pretty much is attracted to you and you can call her out on it."
- Don't give into a woman's frame where she wants you to buy shit for her or do things for her in order to get something (a kiss, or sex).. all you're doing is chasing outcome. Chasing outcome gets you into 'creepy' zone. Don't be creepy. Don't ask for validation. Instead, bring your own value to the table, hold it up like a carrot in front of a horse, and get her to chase after it. The stronger your frame, the more you're dominant and leading, and the more she'll want you. If she doesn't want it, you find someone else. Simple as that, never chase.
Example: Many a times, when Sifu was in field, he would step in front of hot girls, dance better than them and walk off -- making them chase after him to find out who he was.
- Call women out for rude behavior; don't accept it.. if a woman is acting out of line, walk away. "They aint nobody. Just because you're pretty I need to accept this behavior? Hell nah. Fuck you bitchhh lol."
- "When it comes to having sex with a woman, sometimes you have to over exaggerate, show that other girls are into you (another girl texting you).. it's fucked up but it's funny as hell."
- "Women know every guy wants sex from them, that's how they can put guys down and say the most messed up shit. It's sad how many men will put themselves through the most fucked up shit just to get laid. If you can see beyond her beauty and look at who she is really inside… and how she responds, you know whether she is a quality woman or not. When you get to that level, where you see her for who she really is, she aint nothin man."
- "Women will sometimes do stuff or say stuff just to have that power over men.. like calling them 'creepy'. Creepy is an overused word and it's downright disrespectful. Men are always letting things 'slide' cause they don't want to lose the woman. Yet, that same theory screws men over because the girl can act like a bigger bitch. Put her in her place, don't let her call you creepy. Take it as an insult and walk the fuck away. If a girl called me creepy after I did nice things for her, I'd call her out on that and walk the fuck away."
Example: "Think about strippers who take money from guys so easily -- "do you want a dance? Yeah i wanna dance" then they take their money so easily. Do you want to be that guy? See through women's beauty man and then you realize they aint got nothin on you."
- "Most of the time, girls aren't rejecting you because of some problem with you; most of the time it's something wrong with them. If I get rejected, I wish them well and say hey, you're right.. it's not me, it's you. Have a pleasant day! Don't let them think they can reduce your value to them in anyway."
- "Be an actor. Actors to me are probably the most powerful people in the world. You want to know why actors get laid? It's because they can act any part and make you believe it's for real."
- 1st off dress better than a woman (ALWAYS). It elicits you are high value and that you have options. Pay attention to detail - women are 100x more perceptive about this and associate good clothes with high value.
- "If a woman asks you if you're 'gay', she pretty much is attracted to you and you can call her out on it."
- Don't give into a woman's frame where she wants you to buy shit for her or do things for her in order to get something (a kiss, or sex).. all you're doing is chasing outcome. Chasing outcome gets you into 'creepy' zone. Don't be creepy. Don't ask for validation. Instead, bring your own value to the table, hold it up like a carrot in front of a horse, and get her to chase after it. The stronger your frame, the more you're dominant and leading, and the more she'll want you. If she doesn't want it, you find someone else. Simple as that, never chase.
Example: Many a times, when Sifu was in field, he would step in front of hot girls, dance better than them and walk off -- making them chase after him to find out who he was.
- Call women out for rude behavior; don't accept it.. if a woman is acting out of line, walk away. "They aint nobody. Just because you're pretty I need to accept this behavior? Hell nah. Fuck you bitchhh lol."
- "When it comes to having sex with a woman, sometimes you have to over exaggerate, show that other girls are into you (another girl texting you).. it's fucked up but it's funny as hell."
- "Women know every guy wants sex from them, that's how they can put guys down and say the most messed up shit. It's sad how many men will put themselves through the most fucked up shit just to get laid. If you can see beyond her beauty and look at who she is really inside… and how she responds, you know whether she is a quality woman or not. When you get to that level, where you see her for who she really is, she aint nothin man."
- "Women will sometimes do stuff or say stuff just to have that power over men.. like calling them 'creepy'. Creepy is an overused word and it's downright disrespectful. Men are always letting things 'slide' cause they don't want to lose the woman. Yet, that same theory screws men over because the girl can act like a bigger bitch. Put her in her place, don't let her call you creepy. Take it as an insult and walk the fuck away. If a girl called me creepy after I did nice things for her, I'd call her out on that and walk the fuck away."
Example: "Think about strippers who take money from guys so easily -- "do you want a dance? Yeah i wanna dance" then they take their money so easily. Do you want to be that guy? See through women's beauty man and then you realize they aint got nothin on you."
- "Most of the time, girls aren't rejecting you because of some problem with you; most of the time it's something wrong with them. If I get rejected, I wish them well and say hey, you're right.. it's not me, it's you. Have a pleasant day! Don't let them think they can reduce your value to them in anyway."
- "Be an actor. Actors to me are probably the most powerful people in the world. You want to know why actors get laid? It's because they can act any part and make you believe it's for real."
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Why You're Not Married (by Tracy McMillan of Huffington Post)
I thought this article was pretty brilliant. If there are any ladies out there that stumbled across or read this blog, this article's for you -- especially if you're struggling in the dating game.
==================
By Tracy McMillan of Huffington Post
You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.
You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.
Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.
Well, I know why.
How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.
I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.
But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.
1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.
The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.
2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.
Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.
3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.
That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.
4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."
You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.
5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.
6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.
Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.
I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.
Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.
Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:
Love.
Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son.
Follow her on Twitter.
Original Source
==================
By Tracy McMillan of Huffington Post
You want to get married. It's taken a while to admit it. Saying it out loud -- even in your mind -- feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not you, or at least not any you that you recognize. Because you're hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and you would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor.
You've never dreamt of an aqua-blue ring box.
Then, something happened. Another birthday, maybe. A breakup. Your brother's wedding. His wife-elect asked you to be a bridesmaid, and suddenly there you were, wondering how in hell you came to be 36-years-old, walking down the aisle wearing something halfway decent from J. Crew that you could totally repurpose with a cute pair of boots and a jean jacket. You started to hate the bride -- she was so effing happy -- and for the first time ever you began to have feelings about the fact that you're not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly (it was so sudden) you found yourself wondering... Deep, deep breath... Why you're not married.
Well, I know why.
How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married three times. Yes, three. To a very nice MBA at 19; a very nice minister's son at 32 (and pregnant); and at 40, to a very nice liar and cheater who was just like my dad, if my dad had gone to Harvard instead of doing multiple stints in federal prison.
I was, for some reason, born knowing how to get married. Growing up in foster care is a big part of it. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated -- traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time. Without really trying to, I've become a sort of jailhouse lawyer of relationships -- someone who's had to do so much work on her own case that I can now help you with yours.
But I won't lie. The problem is not men, it's you. Sure, there are lame men out there, but they're not really standing in your way. Because the fact is -- if whatever you're doing right now was going to get you married, you'd already have a ring on it. So without further ado, let's look at the top six reasons why you're not married.
1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you're angry. You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're pissed. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At Sarah Palin. And it's scaring men off.
The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married -- but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife.
2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.
Instead, you are looking for someone tall. Or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either.
3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of Jersey Shore -- but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin -- it doesn't stay recreational for long.
That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin -- a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm -- that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you're totally strung out on him. And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.
4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now."
You know if you tell him the truth -- that you're ready for marriage -- he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!
About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret -- just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place.
5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher training. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy -- or at least a guy with a really, really good job -- would solve all your problems.
Howevs, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do, especially after having kids. This is why you see a lot of celebrity women getting husbands after they adopt. The kids put the woman on notice: Bitch, hello! It's not all about you anymore! After a year or two of thinking about someone other than herself, suddenly, Brad Pitt or Harrison Ford comes along and decides to significantly other her. Which is also to say -- if what you really want is a baby, go get you one. Your husband will be along shortly. Motherhood has a way of weeding out the lotharios.
6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.
Here is what you need to know: You are enough right this minute. Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.
I see this at my son's artsy, progressive school. Of 183 kids, maybe six have moms who are as cute as you're trying to be. They're attractive, sure. They're just not objects. Their husbands (wisely) chose them for their character, not their cup size.
Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry.
Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something -- it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession -- a free-agent penis -- and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland.
The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will not be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyway -- because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self -- you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along:
Love.
Tracy McMillan is a TV writer whose credits include Mad Men and The United States of Tara. Her memoir I Love You and I'm Leaving You Anyway is now available in paperback from Harper Collins/It Books. She lives in Los Angeles with her 13-year-old son.
Follow her on Twitter.
Original Source
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Used PUA Books & DVDs For Sale
Hey Guys!
I'm in the process of moving out to my new location in LA, and have some books/DVDs for sale (I need to make space). These products are pretty much in great condition, like new, and have helped me out through my journey in reaching this far in pickup.
Please email me at puacloud@gmail.com if you're interested in any of the stuff below:
Making Out in Korean - $8
Transitioning to Sex DVDs - $40
Same Night Sex Book - $20
Nine Ball (signed by TD & Papa) - $50
The Game - $28
Get the Girl Full Color Book - Mehow - $40
Get the Girl DVD Series (Brand New) - $50
BradP's 30-30 Club CD & Book set - $425 (Full Year Course)
Kino Escalation DVD (Vince Kelvin) - $30
Askmen Player's Manual - $40
Rules of the Game - $25
2GTS Blow Her Mind 1st Time DVDs - $120
2GTS Escalation to Sex DVDs - $80
Stylelife Attraction Super Seminar DVDs - $30
Hypnotica Sphinx of Imagination - $15
Improv for Pickup DVD - $30
Mystery Method - $15
The Player's Guide Venutian Arts - $15
Again, email me at puacloud@gmail.com if interested. If you live far away, I can arrange to ship it to you and payment can be done through Paypal.
Thanks,
- Cloud
I'm in the process of moving out to my new location in LA, and have some books/DVDs for sale (I need to make space). These products are pretty much in great condition, like new, and have helped me out through my journey in reaching this far in pickup.
Please email me at puacloud@gmail.com if you're interested in any of the stuff below:
Making Out in Korean - $8
Transitioning to Sex DVDs - $40
Same Night Sex Book - $20
Nine Ball (signed by TD & Papa) - $50
The Game - $28
Get the Girl Full Color Book - Mehow - $40
Get the Girl DVD Series (Brand New) - $50
BradP's 30-30 Club CD & Book set - $425 (Full Year Course)
Kino Escalation DVD (Vince Kelvin) - $30
Askmen Player's Manual - $40
Rules of the Game - $25
2GTS Blow Her Mind 1st Time DVDs - $120
2GTS Escalation to Sex DVDs - $80
Stylelife Attraction Super Seminar DVDs - $30
Hypnotica Sphinx of Imagination - $15
Improv for Pickup DVD - $30
Mystery Method - $15
The Player's Guide Venutian Arts - $15
Again, email me at puacloud@gmail.com if interested. If you live far away, I can arrange to ship it to you and payment can be done through Paypal.
Thanks,
- Cloud
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