Since I've been doing this for a year and had some success, I figure I'll type up some pointers -- things that I paid attention to that finally started getting me stuff beyond number closes -- like makeouts and lays. Hopefully this will help those who are still struggling and those who are just starting out.
1) First, Pay Attention to 'Stereotyping'.
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Specifically, the way you project yourself. If I had to meet you in under 30 seconds, what impression of you would you want me to take away? People are very judgemental especially in first impressions. If you are a guy they don't know, randomly walking up to them, they will size you up and make judgements before they either accept you or dismiss you. These judgements come from their own 'experiences' with someone who was 'similar' to the way you project yourself currently.
It's not just the stuff you say, it's also the way you dress, the way you smell, the way you make them feel, etc. All that is being matched up too with a stereotype in the other person's head. If that person doesn't respond well to that stereotype, you're out.
That's why if you dress like a player and act like a player, girls won't really give you the time of day because they have a lot of experience with player-type guys trying to pick them up. Not every girl is like this though -- some love being picked up.
However, if your girl is like totally turned off by the vibe she's getting from you in those first 30 seconds; it's very easy to get blown out. For these kind of girls, you need to first project a high value personality that they would want to know before you can 'game' them.
An example of a high value personality would be a guy who seems to have an exciting life -- you regularly go surfing, you have really cool friends and parties, or you're a leader of a martial arts club. Alternatively, you could just project yourself as a man with balls and just describe to her why you're attracted to her and what you want to do with her if you had your way. Be able to back off if she 'rejects' you. And just go to another girl. That's also huge high value -- not a lot of guys can do that; it takes courage. But that's why it's awesome too. Girls might reject you initially but they'll remember you had the balls to do that and if they remember you as a guy with balls -- now that's a sexy stereotype.
The better you stereotype yourself as a high value guy, the better a chance you have of getting compliance from her and raising her BT til she's (down to fuck) DTF.
2) Recognize Who's DTF with Eye Contact.
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If you haven't learned this skill already, LEARN IT. Learn to make EYE CONTACT and hold it. Observe the room. Observe people. What sort of things are they doing?
Girls who are DTF generally will give you the following signs:
- She maintains eye contact with you. Sometimes harder eye contact. DTF.
- She smiles a lot or giggles at everything you say. DTF.
- She shit tests you a lot. DTF.
- She tries to fix you up, or 'set you up' with someone -- she's 'invested' so much in you... why?? She likes you of course. DTF.
- She TOUCHES you.. A LOT - lots of touching indirectly or directly. DTF.
- She wants you to take her home. DTF.
- She gets jealous if you're with some other girl. (Easiest way to tell is if she liked you before, then saw you with another girl and suddenly turned cold; disqualifying you. A few kisses will turn shit around and you'll have a girl with high BT on your hands. DTF. They say makeup sex is the best).
- You kino a lot and she doesn't stop you. DTF.
- You dance with her on the dance floor and she's really grinding into you. Hardcore. Not just a couple bounces and that's it. DTF. (This is why natural guys drink with girls first then take them to the dance floor before having sex with them in their car).
- She texts you randomly asking you what you're up to, and writes back with smiley faces. DTF.
- She makes out with you a lot. DTF.
3) You Can't Fuck A Number!
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If you seriously want a lay with a girl, you need to kiss her. So KISS her. Use whatever gambit you want to get that accomplished. My first kiss I did was telling a girl "Close your eyes, I want to give you a present". She kept shit testing me to give it to her with her eyes open, but I held my ground and even motioned to walk away if she didn't close her eyes. Once she did what I told her, I told her to hold out her hand as if to take the gift, and I put my hand in hers and kissed her on the lips. It was the greatest kiss ever. I was scared, but at least without her looking at me, I could get the courage to do it. Afterwards she was super suprised but really turned on.
That's because kisses turn girls on! Girls love being kissed more than anything else... you hear songs about it all the time. Girls love to kiss more than boys and after a while you'll realize they're always trying to kiss you especially if they are crazy in love with you. Not a bad thing. :)
As a rule of thumb, go for the kiss before you get the number. If you just get a number, the chances she'll hang with you are slim the next day unless you seem sorta high value in other ways -- money, or can get her into some exclusive club. At least if you kiss, she'll know the next time she's with you, it's a date and look forward to it. Set the frame in advance fellas. NOTE: If you can't get a kiss, but things look good, you can try for the number -- just as a rule of thumb, kissing then getting a number is better.
NOTE: Kissing girls in clubs is a bit different. If you're making out with them while drunk, they're prob going to forget you the next day. Most likely actually. I learned my lesson. Don't makeout in a club unless you are going to close no matter what same night. Don't make any plans to see her the next day. Not going to happen. Instead focus on SNL.
4) Work Logistics
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After you have a girl turned on, you need to take her to a place where you both feel comfortable moving forward. It's not just enough if you feel comfortable -- if she doesn't, she'll blow out of set, and you're done. You need an excuse... something that makes sense logically to both you and the girl but you both know is completely BS.
Like saying "Hey, we should take some pictures together over there by that statue", then go back to kissing more. Then move her to another place -- your place "Haha, you're turning me on... but I think we need to stop for now; you should come over to my place, I know how to make the best meatloaf sandwiches/I make the best long island margaritas".
Alcohol helps in reducing the mind's ability to logically judge excuses; that's why so many people use it to get laid... but it's a double-edged sword: If you want the girl to remember the experience, you shouldn't use it. You also avoid getting into traps like you raped her without her consent. Don't get her drunk. A little alcohol (wine or wine cooler) is enough if you choose this route. The classier the alcohol the better; it's like a DHV that you have social knowledge. Again, alcohol is not important, but I bring it up because sometimes girls themselves want this as an excuse before they sleep with you.
Pay attention to how you sell the idea though, because if it sounds too lame or something she could do herself or some other time, you lose her. Make sure the idea is EASY. If it's too complicated or requires a lot of work on her part -- she's not coming home with you.
Here's some classic stuff:
- If she texts: "Anything going on tonight?", I usually say "Come over, we'll figure out what to do when you get here." I give her my address and if she comes over by herself, she's pretty much DTF.
- "Tonight, I'm not letting you escape. I'm fucking the shit out of you :)" Sometimes over the top works really well. Why? She thinks you're full of shit but at the same time is super intrigued -- it's like you gave yourself a shit test -- are you really capable of doing what you say you're going to do to her? If so, she's highly turned on.
- "Let's go for a drive and check out the countryside." It's sooo easy to use this one because it seems so innocuous; what girl wouldn't want a drive? It's fucking romantic. Pull her over, check out the view then comment on how beautiful it is and how she is too. Makeout in the car, escalate, LR. Don't even need to go back to your place.
5) Be In The Moment & ESCALATE!
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You're not getting laid if you can't manage her BT. The worst way to kill her BT is to be judgemental. You need to turn that shit off in your head and just be in the moment with her. Unless she's totally not your type and you'd regret sleeping with her, you need to shut out all the nonsense in your head.
Once you've shut out the noise, look at her. Now's the time to 'be in the moment'. Focus on what's most attractive to you about her. For me, it's always the eyes followed by the lips. I sorta circle back and forth -- looking at the eyes, then the lips, then the eyes.. before going in for the kiss. Kiss. Sometimes you can use a gambit -- like notice something on her face, get her to go 'huh' and then k-close. That's fun too. You can pretend like you're gonna kiss and miss. Then kiss. Kiss close gambits are great cause she gets denied then suddenly rewarded, so it shoots up BT. Continue to play these gambits a little where you kiss and deny, kiss and deny, until you get a passionate makeout. Do a few. To keep yourself in the moment, enjoy 'tasting her' mouth. Maybe even put a candy there to keep it really fun or if she's a smoker/has bad breath, you can use the candy to keep yourself from throwing up. (Lol.. if she really tastes bad you might want to re-consider and jump out of set-- a bad mouth tells u a lot about her hygiene. Worse, she might have sucked a guy off before you -_____-"). ALWAYS ALWAYS QUALIFY in advance - that way you know what type of girl she is.
She'll prob start asking you why you like her at some point. NOTE: If you're getting to this point, you're handling LMR. This is the LMR stage. That's why observations are important. Compliment her on her eyes. You can also say stuff about her personality. If she's sexy to you, say that. If she's a confident person who knows what she wants, say that. If she accepts your response, reward her with another kiss. She'll want to have a logical reason as to why she should continue escalating with you, so that's why you're saying these things.
Continue to work your way downwards to her neck, then breasts, then stomach, then go back up, mouth, breasts, alternate a bit, then fingering. Remove a piece of clothing as you work downwards. Take it slow if you have to. You should also remove your clothes matching the overall pace of escalation. If she's wanting it fast, go fast. If she's wanting it slow, go slow. Your clothes should come off at the same pace.
If she starts feeling weird, go back to talking and just making sure she knows why you're into her. Sometimes you have to repeat yourself -- for it to sink into her. If she gets really weird, stop completely and act like it's no big deal. If she says "We're not having sex tonight", be like "I'm so glad! I was worried about all this pressure in my head to perform!" or some BS with a smile on your face. Then go back to kissing a few min later and try again. You may have to do this dance a couple times before you're in. Like people say -- the makeout sessions that lead to sex are like a trance. You both should be in the moment, not thinking of anything else but how much you enjoy each other. If for any second you are self doubting, she'll feel the same way and she'll go back to being logical.
Check your surroundings too. Can you actually have sex with her without getting some sort of external interruption? Also, make sure in advance you have condoms, lube, whatever else you need -- so you don't seem like you're an idiot. Finally, check if having sex is comfortable for both of you. I was in a car once escalating with a girl and getting her BT up, only to realize I was in an uncomfortable position in my car in broad daylight to do anything else. Who's fault was that? MINE. Avoid stupid mistakes like that. Go park somewhere private, take your seatbelt off then escalate. Escalating without having a place of privacy and comfort will be a BIG WASTE OF TIME.
Finally after clothes are off, you can finger for a while until you want to enter her or she starts telling you to get inside her. Sometimes fast and furious girls will tell you to stop the fingering and just go. Put on your condom and go. DO NOT enter without. If she tells you no condom, just be really strong (even tho it's hard sometimes) and hold your ground. No condom, no sex. BIGGEST RULE. If you break it, you're putting yourself in danger and can kiss your PUA days goodbye potentially. Not worth the risk. I briefly got caught up in the sex and not using a condom -- and slapped myself out of it. I won't do it without it. Be able to snap yourself out of stupidity. The girl will respect you for having that strong frame.
As you're doing it, alternate between missionary position and letting her ride you so you can get used to what you are doing (especially if you are a virgin). Once you get the hang of it, (and the hang of her -- if she likes fast or slow) you can add variety. Make sure you save stamina, especially if you're not in shape. More advanced stuff like doggy style requires a lot of force on your part, so save your energy if you're already out of breath. Get her to do what you want too... don't just do all the work. If you do all the work, you're going to run out of energy and hate the experience. If you finish before her, you can still finger or go back to kissing until you're ready again. When you're absolutely done, just go to cuddling and talking. Enjoy the rest of the day or morning after.
6) Afterwards
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If you want to keep seeing her, answer her calls/texts. They're all pretty much the same message. DTF. You can vary it up with movie and dinner before that but it's still DTF. If she isn't into the other stuff or whatever you like, you probably should get rid of her. Let her off by just being friends with her. If she's really cool and has a personality outside of sex, and you can feel normal around her when you introduce her to your friends... then you can make her your girlfriend if you want.
Hope this helps,
- Cloud
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