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Had one more podcast I wanted to put up today.. this one's more about me (since I figured it's been a while and for any newcomers to this blog, you might appreciate kind of a backstory).
Things I go over:
- Why are the top PUA gurus still single?
- Why did I get into this..? Sucking with women til age 27
- How being raised conservative in an Indian household fucked my game with women
- American values vs Indian values - being caught in the middle but why marriage seems okay
- Feeling guilty not married yet, don't want parents to die never knowing wife or grandkids
- Why live my life fucking multiple women - in essence never really settling? The way to go?
- Am I doing PUA to impress other PUAs and onlookers? WTF?
- How PUA is really for me.. and I need to really use it for finding a girl
- Where do I go from here - your thoughts? And what will I think a year from now?
As usual, leave your thoughts here or mention at me @CloudPUA on Twitter. (I'm also @PUACloud, but Twitter has some weird issue with that account linked to my blog so use the other one instead). If you'd like to be on the podcast, let me know and I'll try to phone you in. Good practice for your own conversation skills!
- Cloud
I think PUA are single because they never REALLY REALLY been in Love, or that they don't want to have their hearts broken again. The pain of losing someone you once loved is a pain like no other. I can only speak for myself here. I do think that most PUA are doing it to impress themselves and for self-validation.
ReplyDeleteIn my eyes RSD is the only PUA Organization that I feel is of value because they focus on bettering oneself,and not making it always about the girl. Why are PUA still single? Like any bad habits or pattern, I believe sarging and partying forms a demon of its own. From hearing your podcast, I think you are @ war with marriages, concepts, you father ideas, traditional value, and how it conflicts with today standard of dating and etc..... I really believe you don't know what you REALLY WANT. There's a saying,"When the student is ready, The Master will appear". I believe that when you decides 100% what it is that you want from relationship, then you wont be so conflicted. I believe it's fear all together that you will find a women that you truly will want to be with.(I also believe you have this idea that if you get in a relationship, you won't progress Financially, Socially, Economically, and Mentally.) Unless you are ready to share your life with a women, than you will never have a solid meaningful relationship. You will find flaws in it(being in a relationship) because you will be looking from within yourself! You can't run from oneself, sooner or later it will catch up with you. Ask yourself Vijay, Do you really BELIEVE that having the Hottest Girl will bring you happiness? Having that mentality you might as well be Sarging forever. I am not saying to not aspire to have the women of your dreams. I remember Jon Sinn article about that topic. He made a point. Who set the standard of what girls are hottest in your mind? Will you be content when you do have the hottest girl on your arm, and everyone saying," Look at Vijay with that hot women"!
"Known Thyself At the Beginning, Middle, and End of the Day my Friend". I am going through the same thing myself Vijay. It's a burden at times.
I enjoy the podcast. It speak volume of the never ending journey of a man that I value, appreciates, and call my best friend 4 Life. ! love to ya Cloud:)
It's tough dude - but yah this weekend I think I found the answer by going out with my friend in SF. I think as guys we can never get away truly from wanting to impress others - that's just how this society works. We all feed off our inner social circles for respect and validation. Even if you 'don't give a fuck' about society - at some level, subconsciously your mind needs some validation to operate. Winning at life's challenges keeps you motivated to do better and better.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have that kind of winning feeling, you lose motivation and it's easy to just sit in your house 'doing nothing' - even if you think that you're awesome for doing nothing. I think competition is important because of that -- it's just if one is obsessed with what others' think of them that's when it's a problem. Especially in our example - if you are surrounded by hot women with great personalities and you're still obsessed about being better than everyone else - that's when you're just out of hand egotistical.
But getting that quality girl is important - because it communicates you worked your ass off to find her. You built the skill set to accomplish it and now you have that validation in your mind that you can achieve greatness. It's like that with anything - even a good job or whatever. You can't truly be happy if you're just settling for scraps - hell no.
Whenever I think about a girl that I had it easy with - I don't really find myself caring that much; 'cause it didn't feel that great to me. I don't feel like I worked for it, hence I don't really appreciate the relationship. Yet if I had to work my ass off for some girl like my first gf, that's when I think fuck yah - that's a quality chick. Of course if she's just a bitch it's different - but if she was a challenge but still very interesting and cool to be around, and I had a story to go with how I ended up with her - I feel good, validated.
So to kinda wrap up - I think as guys we're hard-wired to be hunters and to be 'chasing' - but only because we want to feel that validation that we earned something of quality. I think when that happens we finally sorta cool down and enjoy what's in front of us. If we feel like things are getting unstable again - that's when we go back at it again trying to either fix shit or decide that what we have isn't that great - hence find something better. It's natural, it's a part of us - to fight it would be against our programming, so it's better to just roll with it.