On the way back from SF to LA - had a lot of time to think while driving! So I decided to do another podcast - this one about common problems I face while in set. Here's the agenda:
- Prob # 1: Takes a while for me to approach the girls I really am attracted to
- Prob # 2: My interactions are pretty geeky - but I like hot geeks :/ - in any case I have a lot of soft blow-outs with the girls I really want - frustrating lol. Uglies and averages are fine 'cause I'll never really care what happens. Just - I don't seek anything long from them either. I want the quality girls - but yah my approach rate is like 20% for those kinda chicks...have to kick myself a lot to do it. But then it's LAME. Hence I need more awesome interactions with hot chicks.
- Example: Encountered Asian chick that was cute and took forever to approach her -- yet when I finally did she turned out to be lame & boring - sucks - but I guess whatevs gotta keep searching for 'quality'
- Prob # 3: Asian girls are my thing, but I also like white girls a lot. My cultural programming & upbringing is fucking my head over for it tho. Want to have more white girl relationships and not get into my head so much about it.
(Example: Katy Perry is a gorgeous white girl).
- Tho I have an Asian girl pref, they are also some of the worst bitches in field.
(Why? Another Asian girl horror story I tell you.)
- My thoughts: Media portrays the Asian girl as always the 'bitch' out of trio of girlfriends
(white girl fun leader, black girl kinky & nympho, and asian girl the fucked up crazy bitch).
- Why is the stereotype true so often? Asian girls - you buy into it - yet you are being fucked over by society; think about it.
- Prob # 4 & 5: Needing better attraction game (midgame) & needing to disqualify more
Basic routine stack is like this:
1. Opener (You know how to party)
2. Follow ups (situational, compliments)
3. Cold reads, stories from the week, trading stories from her
4. Logistics: What's she doing later today, or this week
5. Phone # close
6. FTC
(Usually 1-2 minutes and usually get the number).
But going back in is tough! I feel like my attraction game is really weak then (and miscallibrated).
- Blow outs of mine while doing midgame
- Needing more baby steps, rather than spamming power moves, lead the escalation smoothly
Example Midgame stack:
1. Trust test
2. More cold reading
3. Photos / Hugs / Kisses on Cheek
4. What else? Your thoughts?
- Not using enough disqualification game - this Asian girl we met didn't like nerds even if they work at 'Facebook' lulz. I should have taken her hand and black-felted it with 'DORK' :) "Combo-reversal-finish!" (think Marvel Vs Capcom announcer). 'Cause we all know disqualification is hot to women.
- Should do more of it within my first few moments of approach too to help screen better and build more attraction.
- (Prob 6?) Can only get a boner for a chick if I feel it's real - strip clubs aren't real to me, hence that's why I don't get turned on even with boobs in my face. I just feel like I'm getting robbed.
- Yet if I feel like my game is actually working and she's falling for me - that's when I'm like yah man.. I totally could fuck her! If I had confidence in my game and knew I could get most girls to really be into me - I'd have more sex altogether!
- Extra: Prob #6 (Prob 7): Day 2's of mine suck. This is probably the same though as my midgame prob. Having problems being too 'creepy' (overly sexual) initially or too 'tame' - escalating way too late in the game.
- Totally need to be 'smoother' in the midgame section. It's up to me to build a better routine stack.
Extra2: Prob #7 or 8: Having way too much 'state' - hence like Drew said in Podcast 3, needing to be able to control that and not 'ascend' too fast, rather use it in a very controlled - almost martial arts manner; ie (don't show all your best moves at once). (Didn't mention it in the podcast but just remembered so writing it down here).
WELL - Lots of stuff here! Thoughts? Share them here. Comment, email me, mention at Twitter or on your own podcast, etc.
Things I noted:
ReplyDelete1. The opener you used isn't always situational enough. "You're really adventurous" and then elaborating isn't bad... but outside an indian restaurant you'd have to probably amp it up a bit (and make it a joke) instead of making it sound like a sincere cold read. Even as a guy, I'd feel like "what a random thing to say" if a girl said that to me. Atm, I'm not a huge fan of cold reading because it comes off really "gamey". I'd rather they tell me something about themselves, then I just spin it in a positive manner.
2. Don't look at her being in bitch mode; she's probably used to guys hitting on her all the time and you're a random person when she's outside by herself. People's belief systems concerning women come through in interactions much more than they realize. Secondly, to ask someone to talk about themself to a random stranger is kind of a tall order to ask... even something as simple as, "where would you eat instead". Most people aren't very social to strangers and asians especially. Giving someone math problems isn't fun though. It may be to us nerds, but most people don't find it the same way.
3. Concerning white/latinas: Hang out at places where the crowd is more mixed. I dig that you're into asian girls, but you're not going to find too many non-asian girls at predominately asian places. If you feel like you can't get with white/latinas then you need to look at examples of asian/southasian guys who do get with non-asians. There are plenty, so it's definitely a limiting belief you'll have to get over.
4. If you want a girl that's a freak in the sack, hang out in areas where the culture is much less conservative. I gave the advice to my friend that if he wanted hippy/spiritual type girls, hang out in west LA. If you want crazy sex girls, hang out in places where girls tend to be more open about the sexuality. You don't need to focus on porn stars to get the porn star experience.
5. You reflect onto others what you feel about yourself. So if you're being judgemental about girls (or certain types) then you probably feel like you're being judged as well. Judgementalism will kill your game because no girl wants to be judged, especially if she's into the guy. If you're looking for a much more pragmatic reason then that then think of it this way -- a girl will be much less likely to have sex, and when she does it won't be very freaky, if she's worried about being judged.
6. That girl that talked to you in line sounded like a bitch. I'd say brush it off. There's a percentage of people in the world who are just assholes.
7. The whole super direct thing will come in time. You'll probably need to work on your sexual vibe more so that you can start to pick up on certain signals by girls that means they'd be receptive to something like that.
8. If they're making judgement calls about you right away, there's something going on. It might be the way the interaction is going.
9. It sounds like one of the things that you may have an issue with is humor. Seriously, many guys, imo, aren't very funny or interesting. Unless you already have the super in control vibe (like Sebastian did) then it's less necessary. But for me, when I go out and talk to girls, I make them laugh, I give them the sex eyes, I physically touch them, I show them I'm non-judgemental. These are things that are crazy uncommon with most guys so I instantly stand out.
As far as a gameplan goes I'll post up what I do with Captain Jack stuff if you're interested.
iluvgorditas - thanks for the feedback. yeah totally agree with u in that i shouldn't be judgmental - it does fuck up my game. i make it a point NOT to be judgmental when i game - but there is programming from the family that constantly bubbles its way up from time to time which i have to deal with. especially if i feel myself getting deeper and deeper sorts of 'emotional connection' with a chick not of my cultural background.
ReplyDeleteit fucking sucks - but yah, i just gotta fight it. also like ur point about the random stuff i said to that girl - i could see their point of view with that example. mainly i approach with whatever i can think of off the top of my head and so sometimes it is pretty random. but as i get more conscious about the approach i can try to be more flirtatious or direct about my intent (that is my ultimate goal with this -- just not being creepy of course).
yah if u wanna share captain jack's stuff that'd be awesome. i do have bad calibration from time to time with humor so that'd help. btw are u a CC guy or how did u find out about this page? FB?
Here's a barebones version of my stack:
ReplyDelete1. Open
2. Transition
3. Seed Timebridge
4. Strawberry fields
5. Timebridge/Number close
6. Rings on Fingers
During the whole stack, I'm interspersing all of that with very normal conversation -- what people would consider "AFC" topics (where are you from, where other places do you go, etc.).
The foundations of my game involve passive DHVs rather than actively demonstrating DHVs; instead of talking about how funny or intelligent I am, I make them laugh and talk about things in an intelligent way. Instead of talking about how comfortable I am with women, I show them by touching them and making sexual jokes. The only things I actively state are certain frames I'm try to convey: 1) I'm non-judgemental, 2) I'm discreet
All of that works really well for me and helps me come off calm, confident, relaxed, easy going and humorous.
As far as Captain Jack's material goes, if you have a membership to theplace.bz or bitseduce, they should have his material available. He is, imo, one of the best when it comes to actually achieving results and changing your mindset regarding gaming, women and life in general.
And yeah, this is keflex :P Hit me up on facebook or over the phone if you have any questions.
Cool man - hey come to think of it, would you be down to podcast? I can call you up and we can talk about this over Skype where I have a recording feature. If you're up for it of course - it'll be good because we can go back and listen to what we were talking about later, and I just like podcasting 'cause I want to improve my vocal tonality (and have control over it in field).
ReplyDeleteDon't mind doing a podcast, but I have a pretty busy schedule atm. Let me know when you want to do it and I'll try if I can.
ReplyDelete