So if you’ve been following along with the last few posts, you’ll see that I sorta had a marathon day2 week last week. Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and finally Sunday (today). I finished off the first two FRs last week, but I was so far behind on my other work - like actually finding a job that I blew off writing until now. It didn’t help that I also fell kinda sick towards the end of last week -- even though I was hardcore gaming, my mind started to get disgusted at myself. I wasn’t taking care of my health, spending too much money, sharing too much spit with different women, that I started to fall apart in terms of character. Though I had another date with a pretty good looking chick who was DTF (pretty solid), I rejected her instead because I felt she would be too needy for me later on in life.
She was really into me too, texting me everyday, telling me what color panties she was wearing or how she ‘wanted’ me in ‘that way’... but I felt like I was getting disgusted with being too much of a manwhore. I also felt like she wouldn’t be appreciative of my manwhore ways in sleeping around with other women, and would try to pin me down into some sort of exclusive relationship so that’s why I got out of it as soon as I could.
As far as how everything happened, I met this chick on OKC -- she messaged me first. She was Indian, so I was like “Hmm.. my own race... should be fun to see how this turns out, given that I always date other race girls.”
I didn’t even say much to her online, I just replied to the initial message she sent and she replied back with her number in the next message telling me to call her. I called her on Friday, the day that Mercedes Girl was coming over and right from the get-go it was pretty intent driven (on her part).
She told me that she thought I was really cute and that she wanted to go on a date. (Wow, just like that huh?), I thought. (No playful banter or shit tests? No bullshit comfort foreplay?). I felt a little scared for myself -- this is too soon, I felt like a hot bitch who needed more comfort first. So I said to her “Well, that’s cool and all but why don’t you tell me about yourself first?”
So she started telling me her RESUME. o_O. I felt like a chick, who was hearing a dude read off his resume of impressive accomplishments to me. Such supplication I thought. She was well qualified though, a degree in Hotel Management, good upbringing, seemed intelligent. I looked at her profile pic while on the phone, and she looked kinda good. (Okay, I’ll give it a chance I thought). Still I wanted more conversation first -- so I continued to ask stuff about her, which she did for a while until she began to pester if I liked her in the same way and if I’d go out with her. (Whoa.. what is this?) I thought. I told her I would see her on Sunday, and of course she asked “Why not tomorrow? (Saturday)”, so I told her that I was busy that day. She seemed annoyed but she gave in.
The same night, as I was getting it on with Mercedes Girl, this girl (Direct girl? Sure.) started messaging me like crazy. “What are you up to right now? I can’t wait to see you!” “Guess what I’m wearing right now...”
I guess my fault was replying back to these messages because I felt myself starting to lose interest and rather lead her on. She was a validation whore. I mean I guess it’s cool she was really into me and wanted to fuck badly -- but I could just feel that getting out of control as time went on.
Mercedes Girl joked that I was too much of a player but I put her hand on my cock and she obligingly gave me a hand job instead. I stopped texting Direct girl, and of course after Mercedes had left -- my phone had been blown up with texts.
The next day as I was gaming Hoop girl, Direct girl continued to spam text me asking me hundreds of questions -- “What are you up to now? I just got out of the shower, would you like to see me?” Again I made it worse by texting back -- and at that time I was in full high value male mode.. so I threw out hoops of my own instead at her, which she gladly jumped into.
“Hmm, well I am just about to get in the shower, so why don’t you imagine what that looks like instead ;-)”
She excitedly ate that shit up man. I felt a bit creeped out. She gave me the address to her house and said that she wished I could come over right now and “watch a ‘movie’ with her.” I thought about ditching Hoop girl and going for this girl that night, but alas I felt I’d learn more if I went to see Hoop girl instead who was the incredible challenge of the week. I finally got Hoop to come out after a massive hoop frame battle which was fun, so I didn’t want to throw that away for an easy fuck -- even if it was sex. I felt satisfied already from my experience with Mercedes by this point who had given me ample amount of challenge and satisfaction. (To this date, I feel like Mercedes is still the coolest out of the four I dated last week).
Finally, Sunday came -- the day Direct Girl had been waiting for. We were originally supposed to meet at 1, but I held off til 3, mainly ‘cause I was being an ass and just wanted to focus on applying for jobs instead. She tolerated it though. That was hardcore investment man, but it was too much -- too soon.
I met up with her at her home, and expected her to just take me in to fuck her. To my surprise, even though she jumped on me upon first meet and gave me a big hug, she wanted me to take her out to eat.
“I’m really hungry! I haven’t eaten all day, I’ve just been waiting for you,” she said.
“Really, well you shouldn’t have done that. You should have eaten something..”, I said.
“No, let’s go eat now.. then maybe after we can watch a movie or something …AT the THEATER ;-)” she said.
“Okay, lol.” (Wow this interaction is going so fast).
As we drove to find something to eat, she put her hand on mine. (Wow, she made the first move already -- I am so not comfortable -- she is leading the interaction here, not me.)
I wondered to myself whether I should lead at all or just go with it. Should I be the submissive and let her dominate? Or should I dominate her instead? What should I do in this case? I felt like I needed to dominate -- after all that was what I had been practicing all week -- so I started cutting her threads and bringing in conversation of my own.
I put my hand on top of her hand instead. She liked that. I looked at her like I was going to kiss her, but then I stopped myself -- should I? What about flirting? Don’t you want to do that, Cloud?
I flirted with her like I was gonna kiss her, then I stopped. I think it made her more insane. We still hadn’t eaten yet, so I thought to myself -- just fucking chill. You don’t have to make a move at all until wayy later. She’ll be cool -- she waited all this time, she can wait some more and hell-- I still wanna know more about what I’m getting myself into.
We stop at Elephant Bar, but it looks hella crowded so I tell her I want to go somewhere else. She seems a bit insistent on going, but I say I’d rather be somewhere else. So we walk around some more, and I hold her hand. Actually, I think at that moment, I just wanted to enjoy a bit of hand holding. But she was a little impatient -- I think she was really super hungry, so we ended up going to BJs right away -- no stroll through the corporate park.
At BJs, I suggested we eat at the bar, but she didn’t want to. She wanted to get a booth so we could be somewhere more private without distraction. I didn’t argue with her, but she seemed to be getting to me. She just didn’t seem ‘chill’. We waited a while for a table, and while we were waiting, I continued to ask her about her life, make small conversation -- but she seemed really disinterested, rather just waiting for me to make a move instead and super impatient with the waiters for making us wait a while. She would occasionally get up and ask the waiters when we’d get a table. It was a bit embarrassing. I felt like others were looking at me and laughing because my ‘girlfriend’ was so impatient.
We ordered some food, I continued to be super chilled out and let her ‘lead’; which she did just fine. Our food took a while to come, which made her start to get ADD, so even though I tried to help by steering her back into bullshit conversation, she began to get pissed off with the waiters. The waiter apologized and promised to get us our food faster. I kept thinking to myself -- “Focus on me.. I’m the hot chick. The food doesn’t matter yo.. it’s our time together.” She couldn’t.
Finally the food came, and when it was served -- she hated it. “It’s so terrible.. I can’t believe they didn’t make it spicy like it showed on the menu,” she said.
I thought it tasted fine. She didn’t agree with me, and I felt more offput -- then she took it further and yelled at the waiter for giving her such a bad dish. Man.. I was so turned off. I grinned sheepishly at the waiter who grinned back knowingly -- “Yeah, I couldn’t agree more” he almost seemed to say. The waiter promised to bring back another plate, which he did -- and this time the food was more to her taste, but it was too much for her to eat, so she shared with me. I, of course, couldn’t take it -- it was too spicy. “Are you a real Indian?” she asked. “Indians eat spicy food!” “Lol, I can’t”, I said. “I get stomach problems if I do.” Sure enough, I felt myself starting to want to throw up.
Finally she wanted me to pay for the food. She was insistent on it. It was a bit weird, and I felt like telling her off at that point. But I stopped myself and without thinking signed the bill. I didn’t feel good, I wasn’t into her anymore, my body language out of control.. and then she said...
“You know what, I think I’ll go home then.. I have to get up early tomorrow anyway and I don’t want to be late for work.”
I thought to myself -- no need, I’ll do it for you girl. “It’s all good, I don’t think I’m a match for you,” I said.
“What?”, she asked. Her eyes bugged out for a sec. “Yeah, I think you should date around some more. I don’t think it’s going to work out long term,” I said.
She looked hurt. I softened it though by saying “You’re the type who shouldn’t be alone, so that’s why I’m saying this. I think you need more friends first.” At least she took it like a champ. I continued on with saying that I was in seeing other girls and that I didn’t really see myself being exclusive at any point. She tried to tell me that was okay, but I could see in her face that wasn’t what she wanted.
“I’ve been on way more dates than you, so I kinda know what I want at this point. I suggest you date some more too, that way you’ll also meet someone you’re more compatible with.” She seemed sad, but I told her she could ask me for any advice with dating -- I had been on several 100 dates already. She seemed shocked by that, but at the same time felt a little better she wasn’t dating a player :-). I dropped her back home and she gave me a long hug before she left goodbye.
- Cloud
Thoughts:
I dumped her for the following reasons:
1) I had too many girls in rotation
2) This girl was the most needy of the lot
3) I don’t want to be embarrassed in public
4) I like leading.. if the girl wants to lead a little, it’s okay.. but I think she needs to be able to chill also... I don’t always want to play backseat
5) I like the chase -- if it’s so straightforward from the start, what’s the fun? We might as well be married.
6) Where were the commonalities?
I got a lot of flak though from my wings, Sparrow and Luck for dumping this chick. They both told me I should have fucked her -- it wouldn’t have been as bad as I thought. They said she was ‘qualified’ -- she had a good background, and even though she was forward -- she knew what she wanted which was a good thing. Still, I just couldn’t get myself comfortable with the idea of fucking her. I also felt a little weird because in my head I’ve never met such a forward Indian girl -- I guess I’ve always thought of Indian girls as more innocent like -- meeting a girl who made the first moves put me into my head. However, Luck and Sparrow said that Indian girls are horny just like every other girl, and I shouldn’t try to put them on higher pedestals. I should just fuck them - it might be fun and enjoyable. I dunno.. maybe it’s a cultural thing -- I just thought of scary stuff like getting married to this chick and my folks finally being happy that I got with an Indian girl. I felt like I’d rather be a player for life than settle down with a crazy chick...
Anyways, objectively speaking (and coherently speaking -- I’m not sick anymore and I did a good job this week taking care of my job situation and exercise), I think looking back now.. I’d date an Indian chick. I’d even fuck her. I just think that there needs to be more in common next time -- and someone more chill. I’m a high value guy now, and I don’t want to waste my time fucking any chick that throws herself at me and deal with her BS -- high value guys gotta screen, and look for good qualities -- then choose someone who’s compatible enough with their core values. Moving forward, I continue to screen and be selective.
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