Hey gang, haven't posted a report lately, but plan to soon. I'm currently in school! YEP, you heard that right. This week I started motorcycle lessons and have already learned how to kick my bike into 2nd gear! Next up, riding through curves while keeping the bike from falling over! Yup.. it's crazy, but crazy fun. I'll write about it at some point.
I also enrolled in Bartending school. Class starts tomorrow. That should be hella fun. Today I talked to my advisor on the phone. She was kinda cute sounding -- and told me I should come prepared to learn and avoid hitting on the women there. Ummmmm.. what??? We ended up flirting a bit with each other on the phone and while it was okay, I could have been smarter. This is where the 'mental notes' stuff comes in... In the moment, I think it was okay .. but if I ever did it again, I would have been yet another victim of being labeled as 'creepy'.
Here's what happened:
- She's talking to some other people in the background when I ask her for class time and address. She then says in the phone "You're leaving already?!!"
- I realize she was talking someone else, but she immediately thinks I mistook her and laughs -- oh I'm sorry I was talking to a co-worker here, I didn't mean to say that to you! Plus, I haven't given you your answer yet.. so don't leave! Hahah"
- So I told her, "Wow you guys sound like you have too much fun over there...I think class is going to be so much fun :D"
- She says: "Oh you have no idea!! Haha, it's so much fun here, you're going to have a great time, but remember you're here to learn, not hit on the girls okay??"
- I think to myself -- lol omg.. what do I say to that? So I say, "Haha.. if push comes to shove, I might end up doing so..."
- She says "LOL, no no, that's sexual harassment -- at least while you're in class... outside is .. different hahahah".
- I say "Lol... in that case I better wear my court restraining brace tomorrow."
We laugh and end the conversation with her giving me the address and time tomorrow.
I think to myself -- lol that went alright but.. I almost came off 'creepy'.
She basically framed me as a potential "sexual harassment case". Not only that, I fell for it by saying "Yeah, I'm going to hit on the girls tomorrow..." when she told me specifically not to. Finally, I added fuel to the fire by saying I needed to bring my court restraining brace.
Talk about retarded conversation, Cloud.
> What I should have done:
It would have been better if I had reframed everything as her hitting on me...and I might possibly become a victim of sexual harassment... then I could have avoided the 'creep' frame and looked 'innocent'.
Like when she said -- "you're here to learn, not hit on the girls..", I could have said:
"I hope to god I can learn.. I really want to be a good student, so do your best to not be distracting tomorrow okay? :)"
When she said:
"...that's sexual harassment..outside of class okay?"
I could have said:
"Oh my virgin ears.. I hope I don't get sexually harassed outside of class too!"
As long as I was funny about it.. I'm sure it would have worked way better. At least I would have maintained the attraction spike while avoiding the 'creep' frame. When I just admitted I might hit on the girls tomorrow - I fell into her 'trap'. So if my conversation going forward with her or any other girl in class goes weird -- I'll definitely get labeled a creep. She still keeps her value because she 'TOLD' me not to hit on anyone -- even though she was the one who started the 'game' by being flirty with me.
So yeah, mental notes. Reframe the girl as the one leading you on, and pretend to resist her until she's so horned up you guys make out and have passionate sex somewhere. Then you can still say she 'harassed you' and she's 'creepy' lol... although it's done in humor not seriousness :)
- Cloud
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