Whatup! It's been a couple days since I last wrote; possibly a week. Took some time away from the keyboard to observe in the field and lay foundation to be more socially proofed.
Something that I took note of earlier this year was that I don't really have a 'life' outside of 'game' that I can talk about to girls. Everything is sort of half-assed. As a result, when I talk to girls about my life, I find I run out of things to say very quickly. Many topics land in uber fail. I'll give you an example. The other day, I was talking to a girl about how I 'blog'.
HBTarget: "So what do you do for a living?"
Cloud: "Lol.. I'm a professional con-artist"
HBT: "Oh, okay.. whatever I'm done talking to you"
Cloud: "Haha, so am I .. just kidding I'm a writer"
HBT: "Oh really, what kind of writing do you do?"
Cloud: "Um.. (shit, I can't talk about my PUA blog.. and I have a workout blog.. but I haven't really made progress yet.. so can't talk about that)... haha I blog online."
HBT: "Oh, so what kind of blog do you have?"
Cloud: "I have a personal blog, I'm kinda into fashion..what about you.. (tries to change topic)"
HBT: "Oh, well let me see it.."
Cloud: "Um, well no it's not done yet.."
HBT: "Oh okay whatever.."
Cloud: "Yeah, so uh.. who lies more, men or women?"
This happened to me on several occassions. Another time, I was talking to a Japanese girl and we were really speaking Japanese. At first I was super confident, going through regular conversation .. until she decided to be super hardcore fluent, and I started falling apart. I changed the conversation to English.. which made things a bit awkward. She kept speaking Japanese at fluent level, and I responded with English. Finally, I felt she felt my nervous vibe and she backed off. It was hard to get her to talk afterwards because she didn't have that same initial attraction anymore.
One other time, I mentioned I was working out.. but I'm still fat, so I couldn't really show off anything. That conversation ended in fail, too.
Now don't get me wrong, I know I can balance a lot of these threads with humor. I could say I'm a writer and be mysterious and probably keep attraction. Or say I work out and then show her the flab. That would be funny. But, I feel like once the humor wears off, and she really gets to know me down the line... I'm not worth investing in, because I'm doing all these 'things' but not really being serious about it.
I was thinking about some things I bring up that I should push myself to be better at when in natural flow conversation:
- Good writer/communicator. I learned that when I introduce myself as a 'writer' to people at parties, it comes off sexy. 'Marketing manager' comes off too technical. I end up in a frame of explaining way too many buzz words and techn terms that go over people's heads. So writing is much better. But I need stuff to show that isn't pickup related.
- Drawing and photo taking. I sometimes defer people to my Facebook - I take a ton of photos and put it up so people can see them. But I don't do it enough. I should bring it back, so I can talk about stuff I've done.
- I have my workout blog. I just need to workout. Then I can show people in 90 days my accomplishments - (doing the P90x program).
- Japanese ability. I sort of took a break, and losing a little ability now... I should push myself to achieve fluency. I'll study for JLPT Level 1 (the highest level) this year. That way when I converse with natives, it's not so broken.
- General knowledge. If I'm gaming some girls from other countries, ie. Viet, Korean, the least I can do is know basic stuff about their capital, food, expressions... so I don't come off a complete dumbass. I met a Korean cutie this week who got mad at me because I didn't seem like I cared enough about her culture. It was the same with two girls from Vietnamese Student Union (VSA) who isolated me from their group after I couldn't really pronounce their names or show I had any knowledge about Vietnam.
- Kissing & Sexualizing ability. This is half-assed too. I was thinking the other day I should get some more closes even if it's with 6 or 7s. I need to just experience these things so I can better handle LMR when it really matters with an 8, 9 or 10. Girls don't like half-assed sex.
- Fun/Humor. I am pretty good at humor, but not that great. Maybe I can practice by pushing myself to improv in sets. Use improv based routines and stack with photo taking to keep it fun. Fun is something I really need to work on in order to keep from being creepy. I get a lot in my head when I'm on the spot.. but this is something I have to get good at... my competition is fierce in this area.
A lot of my competition can emit REALLY good fun vibes. Some talk SHIT to girls, but it never comes off like they're really serious - just funny.
When I was hanging out with VSA this weekend, there were some really cool dudes who could get the crowds to sing songs with them (even if it was embarrasing) or dance, because they didn't seem half-assed about it. They demonstrated a fun vibe with confidence, and made it easy for others to learn quickly too.
I don't expect myself to get good overnight at any of these things. But I think focusing on doing these things better will get me better results. When I talk about things I do in a natural flow conversation, I want the other person to feel the same excitement I have. They'll see how invested I am in my 'own' world, and hopefully they'll want to be invested too. I think right now because I'm just dabbling in stuff, it comes off like I'm not that invested myself and rubs other people who may be more invested the wrong way. This kind of leads to being excluded from groups - especially in social circle game. If you're someone just there to hit on the girls, people know right away; they too want to get the same girls, but they at least are more invested in what the group is about - so they have better social proof and are more desirable than someone who doesn't show they care.
Hope this all isn't too deep and confusing for you guys who are reading. I'm sure you get the main point - be more invested in the things you do, so that when you talk about it to others you emit a vibe that is worth investing in for someone else. If you want to roll 'natural', you have to be able to convince the other in an emotional way that your lifestyle is fun and not half-assed. If you have a life worth investing in, you're the most attractive guy in the group.
- Cloud
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